The 'why' of weight gain

Was watching Oprah yesterday and then browsing some weight loss sites and blogs- nowadays the calorie counting and exercise is only a small part of the whole weight loss program. Now there are questions to be answered:

- why did you gain it in the first place,
- what do you want- which was repeated atleast 50 times if not more on Oprah yesterday and apparently there is a very deep meaning to it,apart from calorie dense gooey, chocolatey, treats and then why do you crave those
- who makes you eat,
- who sabotages your efforts,
- when do you tend to eat the most,
- what sets off the binges?

So now apart from math for counting calories and anatomy/physiology for knowing how the body responds to exercise, we will have to become adept at psychology to understand our deepest feelings towards food! Well, I am all for higher learning and education.

I did think over the above questions.

I gained weight for the very reason most of us do, kids, the stresses of family life, a full-time job, hormonal?reasons, just plain greediness. But the major question for me now is that all those triggers have resolved, my kids are older and there are no leftovers for me to clean, they dont need me 24/7, I am set in my job and family, so why am I still fat? Narrowed it down to two reasons- general greediness for food, anything to keep chewing- dont like gum- and plain and simple boredom. I have enough to keep me busy but the calorie damage can happen in the 2 minutes it takes from going from one activity to the next.

I think I am just holding onto any excuse not to change my habit of over-eating. I exercise, so I think I can eat as much as I want which is not true. I want to be healthy and look good- well, as good as a 40YO can look, but I dont think I have made a commitment to put in my 100% yet. I am talking the talk , but not doing it yet.

When do I eat the most? The binges happen when I am cold, when I enter the house after a days work, when I am with family and friends, when I am thinking-my mind working furiously so my mouth has to keep up too. Do I know all this? Yes. Do I do anything about it?- well, today I switched on the heat first thing as I entered the house and ate a veggie sandwich instead of standing in the pantry followed by a hot cup of tea, but this happens maybe once in a week.

So , its basically me who has to make the change, when will it happen?, when I decide, not before, not after. That realisation- that I cant blame anyone else is the most defining one, the one which will help me change. Till then, happy eating and logging!