Weight Loss - From overweight to normal

Short term goals

2009-05-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

No, didnt go for the half -M.

Why not? Because it would start at 8 am which is too late and would be too hot for me. The weather on May 2nd? It was lovely with a light rain. Also had not run more than a couple of times since the last week of march.
Went for a 4 mile run in the morning. For the first mile kept thinking I should have gone , but by the end of the next mile it was clear that not going was actually a good idea. I was barely able to complete the 4 miles in an hour and spent the rest of the day hurting all over.
But am back on track. Today did an hour of the elliptical and some free weights. Can do wall-sit twice for 30 sec each and plank twice for 20 sec each. Am planning to build it upto 60 sec each.

Now have a short term goal. I have been invited for a graduation dinner at the end of the month and I want to look good. As per GB we should go on an extreme diet and lose 10 pounds. As per me that is next to impossible so lets concentrate on just toning up and looking good in whatever I decide to wear.

So my plan is:
R/W or Elliptical 60 min 5days a week.
Stretching , yoga, 15 min 5 days a week
Free weights, 15 min, ab exercises 5 min 3 days a week.
Lots of water, light dinners, take my thyroid and iron medications regularly.

Lets see, I think I can do this for the next 28 days.

Disappointed

2009-04-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

with myself. April is officially declared a no-exercise month- managed to do only 11 days so far = 38miles. So sad.
And I am not doing the half-M this weekend. How can I? barely ran this whole month and still, when do any kind of exertion , end up panting and choking.
So not feeling good about the whole scenario. Hopefully May will be better in terms of exercise and diet.
No weight loss either, was hoping to lose the one pound per month I have been.

May 2009:
Start again. R/W 2-3 miles/3 days a week, Elliptical 45min/2 days a week, free weights 2 days a week, stretch every morning 10 min atleast. Move more during the day. Just cannot let all the gains I made over the last yeaar so easily, even if they were miniscule.

This is just a phase, it will pass on.

Bad day, LSD

2009-04-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

Today was LSD 11 miles. ENded up doing only 9.2 miles in 2h40min!! Worst time in the whole 2 years.
TEmps today were stated to be in the 90's, but at morning 8 when I started it was 69degrees and the sun was shining so bright as if reflected from aluminium foil onto me. At first I thought of postponing this LSD to the coming weekend when forecast is for clouds and cool weather. But I have not done much this month and I wanted to see if I could even run a bit after a 2 week period of no running.

And what a difference. Started at 8:06AM, 69 degrees and bright. I just couldnt run even after the warmup of 5 min. Just could not breathe. This carried on for atleast 2 miles where I felt I was being suffocated in the heat. Adding insult to my sorry condition was all those slim trim moms I see around my dtrs school pass me running at a good clip with not a drop of sweat in sight. I saw so many women at this time of the day and now I know the reason for those well maintained young bodies.

By this time I was thinking of seriously giving up on the half-marathon in MAy. I am not bound to do it, it was just something to keep me up to par with my workouts, which I have more or less except for this month. On the other hand, I enjoyed the experience last year and doing one event like this is sort of like a prize to all the hard work!! I have done so far. I dont anticipate any improvement in my time from last year but thats OK.

I dont know why they have to start at 8 AM when it is so sunny and honestly its uncomfortable to be running or even moving fast at that time. I had thought of e-mailing the race director last year about changing the start time . I think I will do that now because I would like to be part of this race every year since its so close to home.

Thankfully reached the downhill, which people were running up, which I went down slowly and that was the only part of the whole distance that I enjoyed. Took a break at one of the stores on the way, walked more than ran the entire distance. Plan was to come home and then run 1.2milesto GB's house, and come back walking from there to complete 11.8 miles.But ofcourse that wouldnt happen, came home , took a bath and that was it.

Very tired later on and disappointed at the slow times, but you know what, its OK. Maybe I will put in my name in the walker section since I do walk faster than run. BUt running breaks the tedium of walking fast and I dont want any other participant to give me dirty looks because I ran for a minute.

Ate lot later on- burnt 720 calories, took in 3 slices of pizza, multiples of chocolate, rice , lentils, you name it, I ate it.

No control

2009-04-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

So the days I dont exercise or blog seem like 'eat what u want' days. Yesterday and today I didnt start the blog post in the morning as I normally do and just went on a feeding rampage.

Bkfst: one scrambled egg + slice of wheat bread

After 2 mile run snack: cereal + cup of milk

Lunch: Felt so cold after the run that ate indiscriminately to feel warmer-
3 sweets + 6 crackers + atleast 3 pancakes- kids woke up late so this was their breakfast.

Snack: went to GB's house which is a hub for food , all sorts of snacks with numerous cups of tea- mainly cookies.

Dinner: will be a slice of bread and garbanzo beans- I want something salty after all that sugar. Hope can leave it at that and not go overboard.

Disclaimer: the comment at the last post is by someone pushing pills and powders to lose weight. I absolutly do not endorse such products and believe that eating right and exercise is the way to lose and keep off the weight. I will try and get that post removed if possible.

2009-04-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

Bkfst: one cup oatmeal + milk + half banana + 3 cookies

Mid-morning: one tootsie roll lollipop , feeling so faint.

Lunch: one slice bread + one scrambled egg+ one half bagel + 3 tbsps hummus eaten while the egg was cooking + one cup tea.
No wonder I am feeling lethargic and somnolent now.

Guess what? I weighed myself on the office digital weighing machine and seem to have lost a pound- Ok, 0.8 pound. So I was pretty excited for 2 min. Any other intelligent person would have held back on the calories after that, but what did I do? I came home and ate a whole bagel with hummus, as if I had been starving for days! Anyway I am stuffed now.

No exercise today, have to drive one hour away to a soccer game, I really think these guys play less and travel more for their games, so 3 of my dys precious hours are gone.

Dinner: will be a cup or two of rice and some lentils and mixed veggies. If I can control my calorie intake!

2009-04-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Bkfst: one cup oatmeal with milk + half banana

At this time knew there was going to be a party at work, I was providing the cake and I bought it- creamy, decadent, chocolate! And I imagined the cake being cut and me shaking my head, refusing a piece because I had had so much sugar in the last few days.

In actuality, or lets say in my very own reality show,this is what happened: I was at the table before everyone else, I ate my rice and bean burrito fast and then kept looking at the cake till the birthday girl took pity on me and cut it and gave me a slice, which I ate without remorse. So...
Lunch: half burrito + one piece of chocolate cake

Came home and decided to get on the elliptical for an hour- managed atleast 50 min before the family called and now am thinking light for dinner- maybe half a cup of cereal or something. Cant breathe because am so stuffed.

Actually cant breathe because of the allergies. Saw the doctor yeaterday who prescribed some nasal drops and eye drops and advised me to start taking the meds 15 days before the season. Story repeated. The doctor last year had said the same and me like every second person had ignored her advice.

And TSH is high, which means I have hypothyroidism, which means I have to be on thyroid medication, chronically, which I dont like, but I will follow the doctors orders this time- I really want to feel better.

I am better...

2009-04-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

..., much better , thankyou.
And how do I know? I got my appetite back!! The way I ate today would put a wrestler to shame, as I am actually TRYING to pack on the pounds!

Bkfst: one cup oatmeal with milk + half banana
Snack: 4 hershey kisses swiped from the secretary's desk
Lunch: one cup rice + one cup tofy mushroom curry + one cup tea + two cream puffs
Dinner: one cup rice + lentils + cauliflower curry + my downfall in the form of lots of sweets of various kinds.

See, nothing healthy, portion sizes are OK too, its the uncontrolled binging on the sweet stuff.
No, I havent learnt self-control at all, get a box of chocolates or any other sweet sugary syrupy thing in front of me and its gone in a blink of an eye.

Am planning to do atleast an hour on the elliptical to make up for today.
There has to be a way to rein my appetite, to have more self-control. There is a website where if one doesnt make goal, some amount goes to a company you hate- sort of like negative reinforcement. For eg. if you want to stop smoking and are unable to quit, a dollar amt set by you goes into some cigarette company. I will have to find that website and see what they have for people who want to lose weight.

Because honestly, if you told me that for every pound I lost, so much money would go to a charity of my choice, thats not enough incentive any more- I would just give you the money upfront. I have tried that before- lose weight and go for vacation or buy a new wardrobe or lose so many pounds before a family reunion- not worked for me. Now I need a kick in my rear to take control.

Which I will from tomorrow- no more sweet stuff and get on the elliptical again.

Overeating

2009-04-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Today had to drive to SF airport to pick up parents. So finished the elliptical in the AM. Such a nice feeling, to be done with something I NEED to do right in the AM. Wish I could say the same about my piano practice, journal reading, grocery shopping, laundry folding and keeping away too.

Bkfst: one bread slice and scrambled egg

Snack: two cups of tea and cookies.
Banana, one 220 cal chocolate bar, half a bag of chips-approx 300cal, all eaten on the way to sanfran

Dinner: one and half cup rice + one cup lentils + one cup mushroom pea curry

After-dinner snack: Lots and lots of the gourmet sweets my mom got for me. 100s and thousands of calories gone in the time it took me to clean up the kitchen and make a cup of tea.

My mother's first reaction on seeing me after 6 months was'oh, you are looking slim!' which made me happy. But by the end of the evenig it was clear to her and me that in those 6 months I havent learnt to control my eating- one sight of chocolate or pastry and I am reduced to a pig.

Off today

2009-04-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

4miles R/W with DH. In the 2 weeks off from running have lost all the gains I made in these last few months. I was running 80% of this route and ran up the 3-5% incline hill a month ago.
Today I ran maybe 30% of the time, the last mile was all walking, walked slowly up the hill, had to resort to run 100 steps/walk 200 steps, all simply due to difficulty taking in a complete breath and no eaxercise to speak of in the last 2 weeks.
Why do I insist on blogging the whole scenario? because I want to emphasise to myself that I am not having a good time because of these allergies, and that might make me take care of myself. Otherwise, as soon as I start feeling better, I will forget about this episode and then it will repeat itself next year.
No blogging about food intake today- hey, its sunday, gimme a break!!

2009-04-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Bkfst: pancake made with whole wheat and enriched flour, eggs, milk, + maple syrup

Snack: 2 cups tea + 4 cookies

Lunch: leftover pancake + one slice of bread + leftover blackbeans. Cook one day, eat the same over a week!

Snack: 2 cups of tea, 3 cookies, handful peanuts

Dinner: 2 slices of pizza, 3 crusts, 3 sips of sunkist, 4 nachos.

Oh, where are the veggies and the fruits??? Nowhere to be found, as if I have banned them from this household.

snack: one tiny tangelo to make up for the loss above.

Walked 3.5miles, in 60 min today. The effort was there even tho the pace came out to be so slow. Went over my log, apr 2008 had the same problem and had completed barely 48 miles due to not feeling well. This time again, havent done any LSD, so it will show up on the half-m day. Hope its not too warm this time.

Why am I so fat?

2009-04-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

I dont eat anything!!Look!

Bkfst: One cup cereal, milk and half banana

Lunch: one and half cup rice with black beans

Snack: tea with biscuits 4 as per me, 8 according to my DH who watches me like a hawk

Dinner: cup of milk

Multiple cups of warm water with honey and cough drops. I am sure I missed a lot which is the reason for me not losing any lard.

2 miles of slow walking- yay!! I finally got out of the house. So slow that no shortness of breath or anything. Talked to a friend the whole way. Maybe will run tomorrow.

Man proposes,

2009-04-09T19:13:00.001-07:00

and God disposes.

Had thought I would do elliptical today and start running tomorrow. But no time today for the elliptical, and still having the dry cough. And tomorrow, the landscaper is coming at 7AM with samples of some lawn grass. So no movement for the last 2 weeks!

Bkfst: one cup cereal + one cup milk + half banana
Lunch: 2 slices bread + one scrambled egg
Snacks: Tea + 2 packages of the nutterbutter peanut cookies
Dinner: 2 cups rice + 2 cups black beans, maybe more because did 'help'7yo finish her dinner too- all that helping others out is showing up on my belly

The above is accurate, so lets see how we can do a meal makeover.

5 servings of veggies and fruits: NO,not enough, unless you take the black beans as legumes which gets them some veggie points.
Dairy: Some milk in the tea, and one cup on the cereal
3 cups should be daily total
Whole grains: the bread covers that- its whole wheat. But should be changing the white rice to brown
Protein: I think the egg and black beans and milk covers that
Carbs: too many with the rice- cut down to one cup, cut down the bread to one slice, but then I am so 'hungary'!!
Fat; everything is made in olive oil
Processed foods: oh those packs of nutterbutter cookies, isnt one sufficient?

So that shows my pathetic knowlege of food and nutrition, the reason why I am not losing weight, and how much improvement I need to make.

Same as usual

2009-04-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

Bkfst: one cheese string, was in a rush,
so followed it by 3-6 hershey kisses

Lunch: 2 slices bread with eggplant curry

snack: cup of tea, 10 crackers with hummus- I never learn my lesson, just hog without thinking
+ 2 bites of a snickers bar I had at GB's house + i am sure there is more and I cannot remember it now

Dinner: onetortilla + mixed veggies one cup followed by a slice of bread with another cup of the veggies. Who asked me to have this second meal?

GB visited a cousin of ours who has lost alot of weight and was telling me how little this lady ate on a regular day- no bkfst or lunch and then a slice of pizza for dinner. I dont think I would be able to do that.
On the other hand, my sister-in-law is thin too, but she eats all day long- her portion sizes are tiny tho and she never takes more than a bite of a dessert. Then she will say loud and clear- OMG!! so many calories, this is going straight to my hips/thighs/belly!! and then she stops eating. That is what i want to be able to do, eat everything but small portions and know when to stop.

No exercise, still having problems taking in a full breath. Doctors appt was s'posed to be today but postponed to tuesday due to insurance problems, I dont know how I will last till then, this dry cough has not let me sleep in the last 2 weeks and it feels as I will choke and die!

Oh, well, enuf of the melodrama, tomorrow is a new day, stronger resolve to finally learn how to eat and lose this weight.

Might have...

2009-04-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

...lost a pound, official weigh in day is still away, but stepped on the scale this AM, and the needle wanted to move to left for once. Who Knows?

Bkfst: one scrambled egg + one piece bread

Lunch: 2 slices bread + mixed veggies one cup

Snack: Tea + cookies- too many to count

Dinner: one tortilla with eggplant curry and a slice of bread.

Tried to do the elliptical, had to give up after 5 min due to bad coughing spasm, could barely breathe. Have a doctor's appt tomorrow, lets see what she says.

Oprah was good today- blue zones around the world , where people live long and healthy lives due to their diet and lifestyle choices. Main points:

Eat a plant based diet.

Drink 1-2 glasses of wine everyday.

Exercise, Walk, Run, MOVE

Laugh with your friends and family

Have a purpose for your life- which to me is the most important, I mean whats the use of living all those years if you dont have something to do?

Pray, have faith and be grateful and thankful for your life

Those are only some of the points, but they all make sense. Lets see how many we can incorporate into our daily lives. One of the better Oprah programs.

more of the same

2009-04-06T12:04:00.000-07:00

The morning run did not happen. Spent the whole last night sitting upright, hunched over a couple of pillows because any time I sat back, it would trigger off a coughing spasm. This Am left with a dull headache from lack of sleep and the coughing fits.

Trying to eat less so as not to feel uncomfortable. Yest log looked so good, was telling GB about it and then remembered the fries I swiped from my 7yo's burger meal. I am sure there must be other stuff I 'forgot' about too.

Bkfst : 1/2 cup papaya + one slice bread + one scrambled egg + 1 cup tea + one cookie

Lunch : one cup rice + one cup yellow Lentils, hot and yummy.

Snack: 2 packs of the ritz bits eaten while thinking about my bad health

Dinner: one cup rice + lentils

Allergies

2009-04-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

just so that I remember for all the years to follow, I get bad allergies starting mid-march and carrying into April. So next year have to start with the anti-allergic med in FEb itself.

No cardio today, just 10-15 min of free weights, cant even do the ab-work because so short of breath. Tomorrow will try and go out, take a cetrizine and run out in the mrning. I mean I cant spend the month inside, can I?

Bkfst: one bread slice + one egg scrambled + tea

Lunch: 2 bread slices + cup of mixed veggies + half cup red beans

Snack: 2-4 cookies( all broken pieces)

Dinner: cup of cereal and milk

Six glasses of water with lemon and honey in the vain hope it will make me feel better faster.

Dont be fooled by the above log, this is not normal, this is just because I am so short of breath and feeling all yucked out, I am sure I will eat triple these amts once I start feeling better. All these pounds didnt come on by following the above food plan. I dont have to remind myself that I have to log in the food amts. because I am just not taking in much.

Off tommorow, will try and run outside.

Pleasures of eating...

2009-04-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

...are gone. Now its only, how much, how many calories, protein/carb/fat amounts.
Well, Not really, but to a certain extent.

Bkfst: bites of tortilla with cauliflower mixture, orange juice, tea. half piece of chocolate cake, thank god for the kids who finished it all up.

Lunch: rice, red beans, yogurt.Adequate portions.

Snack: 2 cookies.

Dinner: 2 veggie spring rolls.

Not much , is that?, but still feel like stomach is pushing diaphram up and causing this weezing an difficulty breathing.

Have taken a cetrizine and 3 spoons of Nyquil and am off to sleep, hope am able to today.

This is hard.

2009-04-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

So this food logging business is hard, but I will do it , as I said I would.

Bkfst:7.30AM: Oatmeal bowl + one cup milk+ half banana

Snack:930Am: one string cheese

Lunch: crackers 10, one tortilla, 2 tbsps black beans, 2 cookies, all had while chatting with a friend who was visiting with her 7yo.

Dinner: here things got out of hand. Family is visiting for the weekend, so while cooking dinner at 6pm, I got hungry and ate a bowl of rice and red kidney beans, thinking that I would not eat when they were here, I dont know what that logic was.

ANyway , after that had another bowl of rice, red beans, some cauliflower, thankfully the portions were small.

But then followed with a slice of the most scrumptious, sinfully decadent chocolate cake. It was so rich, my 14yo , who normallly can gobble up the whole thing, left some on her plate. This was followed with tea.

And now I am sitting here at 12midnight, logging my days gluttony, because I cant sleep , because I am so short of breath because of my allergies. The good part about keeping a blog is that I can go into the archives and read the logs for April2008, when I had a similar episode. So nothing to worry, I will be back on the road again.

March 2009 actually went better than March2008, I ran more. Hopefully will be able to say the same for APril. But first I have to get better.

The first day...

2009-04-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

...of the rest of my weight loss year.

April 1st, first day of my re-resolution to lose weight. Realised that I have been making a fool of myself all these years, and yesterday was the same.

No exercise, no time to run, or do the elliptical, could have done some free weights, but...

Food log:
Bkfst- 7.30AM- Oatmeal and milk and half banana.

Meal?-1.30PM, went to the local grocery store, rewarded myself with a 250cal bag of M&Ms. Why? because poor me had made a groccery run. Actually remembered I would be logging food intake today when I ate the first M&M, but didnt have enough resistance to stop after a few. But why do I need a reward? and can it be non-food related?

At home, during the afternoon, inhaled peanuts, 15 crackers with hummus, some dry mango, 2 slices of an apple. 2 bags of the 100 calories cookies which DH got despite my requesting him not to.

Dinner- 6.30PM to 8.30 PM, 2 bread slices with zucchini, 1 dry tortilla with hummus, some more peanuts. Tea, cookies.

Total calories, >2000. Limited fresh fruit, no exercise.

And today, April 2nd, is more of the same.
No time to exercise.

Bkfst: bowl of honey oat cereal with milk and half banana.

snack: 4 crackers.

lunch: 2 slices of bread and zuchhini.

snack: half apple plus some peanuts, one string cheese.

Dinner: dont know yet, maybe an egg sandwich.

Low calorie, zero nutrition day, if I do as I say and dont hog more at dinnertime.

Insanity is...

2009-03-30T10:45:00.000-07:00

...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different end result.

or something to that effect.

IN my case, approaching weight loss the same way as I have in the last 20 years and expecting to lose to my goal weight.
Not going to happen.
I exercise, the same run/walk combo that I do, maybe twice a week, elliptical twice a week, rarely more than 45 min and free weights, once a week, if that. Yoga sporadically.
Needed to lose weight is atleast 60min 6 days a week, free weight twice a week and yoga twice a week. Calculate the calories burnt difference, its enormous.

More than that is the diet factor. Needed is a daily log in of what I eat , portion control, more fruits and veggies, less processed foods, thats all.
What I do is no food log, as many servings of as big portions as I want, not more than half a serving of fruit in a day- thats my banana with the morning oatmeal, atleast one serving of some processed food everyday- it just happens!

And my general health- 27th march 2008 I was laid down due to bad allergies, it happened AGAIn this year, same day. And what have I done to help with that? Nothing. My doctor told me last year to start taking the anti-allergic meds before the season starts. I started this past thurs when I was in the worst shape in a long time. Now the cetrizine, which I will take for the next 2 weeks continuosly will make me tired and fatigued, I wont be able to do my daily exercise and that will make me irritable , so I will eat more and the whole cycle will start again.

OK, lets be positive. Steps to take to avoid all this:

-Start a daily log. And I will do it on this blog, I was previously doing it at fitday.com, but then lost the habit. So everyday, each bite, write it down.

-Do the elliptical at home for the next 2 weeks except for the LSD. And try and do it in the moring so can fit in 60 min instead of 40.

-Take the anti-allergic meds as prescribed, dont miss and look into either thise shots or something-anything to make myself feel better.

Be proactive for once!!

LSD 9.87miles

2009-03-23T14:25:00.000-07:00

Done as in preparation for the MAy 3rd half-marathon, for which I havent signed up yet.

But today was lovely. I started out- can you visualise this- a chubby woman, wearing an orange T-shirt covered by a black jacket, black capris, khaki cap, shocking pink IPOD, white shoes and a big smile. Because it was so sunny, even tho cold, sunny and nice. And thanks to GB , for the first time in my life I had music as company for the run.
ANd the songs- I must be the only person who ran to' Are u lonesome tonite?' All the songs were the slow romantic kind, which the average runner would use to sleep, but they worked perfectly for me. ABBA, and other oldie goldies, and after a long time I managed to listen to each word and enjoy it.

Had planned to run 10.5m, but on returning realised it was only 9.87miles, but I am OK with it. VEry tired at the end. And the pace still comes out to be 15minmile, which I wont crib about, because atleast I did it.

OK, so I ran about 10 miles, and @ 80cal/mile, used up 800 calories. At home I ate 2 pieces of bread, a scrambled egg, some tea, some hummus, and pre-run I had eaten a bowl of cheerios with a cup of milk and half a banana. What I am trying to point out is, that this is precisely why only exercise does not get the weight off. The calories I took in could not be used up even after running 10 miles!!

ANd whats up with those Ciff bars- tried the chocolate kind- sorry do not like it, its dry, hard to chew, tough, and does not look good at all. Lets just agree to disagree on this one.

Realisations

2009-03-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

I realise things very slowwly, I absorb messages, lessons later than most people.

So yesterday, while talking to the mother of my 14yo's friend, who is slim and fit as can be, who has told me previously that she walks 4-5 miles a day, who I always see in her workout clothes and with a bottle of water, that is when I realised two things:

one, that I HAVE to exercise 6 days a week, one hour at a time to lose this weight. There is no other way around it. None. No shortcuts. This HAS to be done to lose the pounds.
and two, that I simply cannot eat the way I have been. My eating habits havent changed since I was a teenager. Not that I was slim then- I was on the heavier side of normal at the time, but carried it better because of the young age. NOw with gravity starting to play a role, all that extra fat is moving south and it feels, let alone looks, bad. I am still eating the big servings of meals with the snacks etc. And no-one eats like that. All those lean bodies are made with small servings of the good wholesome foods.

Tho, on a better note, I havent had anything out of a box ,except my breakfast cereal, in almost 2 weeks. And there is a nice slideshow on msn about how we are eating larger servings of the good foods which is making us gain the weight.

So , now that I have realised this at the late age of 40, maybe I will start acting on these realisations by the time I am 50!

How long..

2009-03-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

...do you think the 'no processed foods' rule would last?

With my Dh around, precisely one day. That was the day I baked cookies at home and the next day since he was off form work, he went to Sam's Club and returned with a 12-pack of their humungous muffins.

You know what, they didnt even taste that good. I did eat one, in pieces, the whole 1200 calories, but it tasted artificial. Maybe , and I am really hoping this, maybe, I am reaching the stage where only natural, home made food tastes good to me.

And he got sun-chips which my daughters 7yo friend assured us are not junk food because they are whole-grain!!

On the exercise front- missing a lot more days this time due to scheduling problems. On the weight front- nada, zilch again. A study came up recently that just walking 1 hour a day helped people lose and keep off 5-8 pounds in one year, so maybe I will lose some more. The exercise feels good tho, when I do it. So far lost 5 pounds since Nov 2008, a pound a month, and somewhere previously I had written that I would gladly take a loss of even one pound a month. How do some words come so true?

lovely run

2009-03-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today was the best run in a long time.

Day started out not so good. Have been feeling down for the last few days, just no desire left to do any thing. So this morning woke up feeling the same and then DH says , come run with me , and we decided to run the 4.7 mile loop with the grocery store on the way so could pick up some bread.

And I ran- finished 2.83 miles till the grocery in 33 min, which is approx a 12 min mile, wow! felt so good.
And finished the whole route in 74 min which included buying the bread. So I am feeling much better about the whole exercise business, now just have to keep at it.

On the eating front, made chocolate chip cookies, replaced half the enriched all-purpose flour with the whole wheat, but have to do something about the sugar and the butter. Tho, am happy to say no chemicals in the form of colors or flavors or preservatives were used- not that those were needed, the cookies are gone this morning!

Hits and misses

2009-03-11T20:26:00.001-07:00

Am running and walking, did my long distance of 8 miles this past sunday which was good, I was surprised that I could run almost a mile at a time.
BUt today the 4.7 miles I did was very tiring, maybe because it was in the afternoon, or it was a gradual 2%incline after the initial downhill. I did take a break at GB's apartment and then ran almost the whole distance to my house. But it felt as if I was expending a lot of effort even to run at the slow pace.

The food part is going slow too. I keep reading snippets about food additives,- today there was an article on msn about the 12 food additives to avoid which included sodium nitrite used as a preservative in lunch meats etc, MSG, coloring agents etc. The other day I read about the dangers of using plastic containers and styrofoam cups and plates. Well, so what do u get your food in when u order takeout?

That same day my daughter came back from Sam's club with a cherry flavoured, red ICEE in a humungous styrofoam cup- believe me, 12 people could be satisfied with that one cup. And when I asked my Dh as to why he'd got such a big one for her, the reply was that this was the only size available! What we should do is to talk to Sam's Club and Costco to have a choice with a smaller size of the servings. I am ready to pay $2 for a 12 oz serving of ICEE, tho I would be happier if they completely did away with that drink.

I am on a warpath to clean the family's diet and started with cleaning out the pantry. I have thrown out all the candy, the cookies and crackers are finished, there are no cans of toamatoes ofr garbanzo beans laying around. So it is stocked with all good stuff like dried beans and legumes, whole wheat flour and pasta, and all the ingredients to make a cake from scratch.

Which I did a couple of days ago, using soome whole wheat instad of white and decreasing some of the sugar and butter. It actually turned out to be pretty good. Not that my family would say that- I am thinking it was yummy because it was finished overnight!

But cutting out packaged and processed foods does make life a bit tougher- you cant eat on a whim, the only thing actually available at all times for mindless snacking is fruit which becomes tiresome after a while. Tho I believe that is the whole point- we dont need to eat that much. Today the kids were whining about a lack of after-dinner snacks in the pantry, but I am firm - no buying those cookies or cakes or icecream- you want it-you make it. Lets see how long this experiment lasts.

Aches and pains

2009-03-01T09:03:00.001-08:00

I have a sharp pain in my left knee, which felt heavy and swollen the whole day 2 days ago, a pulling pain in my right calf, a shifting pain in left low back-as if it will give away, a tightness and pain in left hip, a tired fatigued discomfort in the mid-back, runny nose due to cold or allergies- cant figure out which but have it in these months for the last many years, in other words- Welcome into the forties!!

But since I am in the forties now, I knew how to tackle all the above, I rested for a couple of days and this morning went for a R/W with my DH who is nursing his own forties pain in his right calf. So he slowed down a bit, I took some more walking breaks and we covered a distance of 3.7miles which included a killer hill in a light rain.

So I am feeling good so far. I should actually be doing a LSD of 9 miles according to my half-marathon schedule, but thats not happening this week.

On the diet front, things are dragging along. I seemed to have lost another pound in feb to make a total of 5 pounds since Nov2008. However those 5 pounds come right back after a small meal at Panda Express, so I dont know if they have left me for good. One day of eating right and I am 5 pounds less, one salty meal and there I am, all puffed up like a puffer fish.

I am trying to cook healthier. Trying to incorporate more veggies in my meals, less processed foods, and no I never did try the bread. Maybe some rainy day.

Weight loss...

2009-02-25T15:30:00.000-08:00

is not going any where, not happening. If it is,- and I remember that one time I did make a comment that i would take any weight loss, even one pound a month- I cant see it. Or feel it, or see it on the scale. I am keeping up with the workouts, atleast 45-60 min 4-5 days a week, have lagged off on the yoga this week, more elliptical than running, but still no change.
Was going over my journals, I did weight watchers once, 2-3 years back and lost 7 pounds n 4 mnths, that had seemed so frustratingly slow to me that i had given up after the 4 months. Now I keep going on and off the calorie watching roller coaster. But the diet is improving slowly. I try not to inhale a whole package of cookies at one time, that is the most difficult part.
Have to sign up for the half marathon, maybe, then I will pull up my socks and concentrate on the diet also.

*Fast Food Nation by Eric Schloser

2009-02-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

*Read this book.

I read it because it was assigned to my 14yo's freshman class. Its amazing, horrifying, shocking, electrifying....
You will never look at the happy meal the same way again.

It makes one scared to eat. How many times do we look at what we are eating and wonder about how it came to be in its present form ? The intricate process of first feeding and growing the cow, slaughtering it, the workers who do it- their state of health and knowledge of hygiene, which companies do it, their standards of hygiene, he has gone over each step and the end result is an eye-opening book.
And this is just about one fast food meal, what about the rest of the products in the grocery store? Where are the strawberries coming from, which cows produced the milk- did u know the government does not have to tell the public if the food is irradiated or not- they say it is safe, but thats what they say about everything in the beginning and 10 years down the line its,OOPs!! Sorry!!

I had been to Disneyland a week ago and gorged on cheese snacks and rice crackers and chips and felt so nauseous. Vowed never to touch packaged goods again, that lasted maybe a half-day. and I have made these vows before- I will never eat anything coming out of a package again.

I am ready to try again. This time I am replacing the store bought stuff with home made stuff- that way I know exactly what I am eating- well, almost. Starting with the basics, I am trying to bake bread at home. the only problem is that it might not look as great as the storebought one so the kids will absolutly refuse to eat it, but lets see. Today will surf the web for an easy whole wheat bread recipe. And will soon post the results.

Days passing by..

2009-02-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

... with no results. Total 4 pound weight loss in the last 3 months.

Even tho I have been regular with my workouts, I have been doing atleast 45 min sessions , have added on free weights- OK only 2 sessions so far,

even tho I did not get any cake for my wedding anniversary- I wont mention the scrumptious cupcakes- two- I had the day before,

even tho I try to move more during the day - trying to organise this house, and still at the end of the day have to throw in the towel because however much I do , it never seems enough. There is always loads of laundry to be put away, utensils to be cleaned and put away, socks, glasses, pencils, crayons and markers, magazines, cups, glasses, books, papers, unread unopened mail, all the paraphrenalia of life, cannot call it clutter because I do need these things at some point or other. Its neverending, and however much I clean the kitchen or pickup the living room, somehow, magically, all these things appear again. I wish I had those elves which the shoemaker had, but to clean my house while I snored in my warm bed.

And so I run, or read, or learn something new, to get away from the so-called drudgeries of life, because, I would be the first to complain if I did not have this routine, this sameness of the days passing by, merging one into another , due to illness or war or some other scrouge.

And with each run, I thank the higher power, because I can.

Running errands

2009-01-23T10:55:00.000-08:00

I actually finished an errand during the morning run.

Had to go to the local postoffice-2.9miles from my house, so 5.8miles round trip, which is what I had to do for my LSD today.

Took 37min going there-which is 12.7minmile!!- I was so excited by that. But ofcourse I had cheated- that length of the road is all downhill, so I actually completed the first 2 miles in 24 min! Had to wait for 23 min at the post office to get my stuff done.

The trip back took 40 min because now I had to go up the hill, which I walked today instead of running up, because was tried-mentally more than physically. Even then it is 13.7minmile coming back, which is good for me.

So I am all excited about my running progress, and I am all set to have a bad run one of these days, because thats how it goes, one good run followed by a series of not so good ones.

On the weight loss front, which is the main topic of this blog, I have gained a pound. Yes, gained a pound. After silence for almost 20 days , I get a shoutout that I am not trying hard enough. I was ready to throw in the towel, stop all this blogging and running etc.
Then read the Feb issue of More magazine and they have an article on chronic illnesses like chronic back pain, chronic autoimmune disease etc. Women in the 40-55 agegroup are more prone to these. Having a healthy weight in the less than 25BMI range, eating a healthy diet full of veggies and fruits, having a regular exercise program all helps.

So I am back to logging and blogging and hope that each positive action I take today helps me in the future.

No excuses.

2009-01-19T11:41:00.000-08:00

Woke up this AM, feeling lazy, didnt want to go for the scheduled run/walk.

Then read a thread on www.active.com started by a 55yo and included atleast 15 pages of people ranging in age from 50 -60 years, some who are starting to run, some who started a year ago and have run any number of marathons by now, some who write 'Oh, I dont run, I shuffle along at 12minmile!', some who want to improve their time of half marathon to faster than 1hr45min!. I was slightly discouraged and then very motivated, who knows in another year or so I might say, 'Oh, I am so slow, I run only 10minmiles', yeah , right!!

Anyways, did go for my run this AM, It felt good afterwards. Still some shortness of breath, some discomfort in the left knwee and behind the right knee.

Tomorrow is weigh-in day, lets see if any progress towards the GOAL!

Running better??

2009-01-13T12:18:00.001-08:00

Ran yesterday. 3miles in 39 min-13min mile. Was very glad.

But to recap the run- the first 1.5 mile is a gradual uphill incline. I started running after a warmup of 3-4min walk and it seemed like a major effort to run. Tried a 5minR/1minW. The shinsplints showed up after 5-7min and stayed thruout the run. I was very surprised when I finished the first mile in 13 min, because really I was dragging by the end of it. Tried some speed intervals too for a min each, and then ran out of steam so walked, but walking after a good effort is more painful. So shuffled along painfully. The last 0.75 miles is a gradual downhill incline, so ran that and was pleased to see 3miles in 39 min.
So maybe, will be able to do 3miles in 36 min in another 4-6 months. Thats my goal. I know that puts me in the back of the pack for any race, but at this time I am not asking for more.

Saw 'Spirit of the Marathon' while on the elliptical today. Dont know how I did that marathon! now looking back it seems amazing. Maybe sometime in the future. The only thing holding me back is the time commitment. So will do the half marathons for now. Which reminds me I still have to register for the one in May.

The one pound lost seems to have settled in, so I can safely say I have lost 4 pounds since Nov 1st- @ 1.5pounds per month- I will take it! Better than being zero pounds or +4pounds since then!!

Jan1-Jan10

2009-01-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

I think I have lost a pound. The scale did register -1, but now the question is that is it because I ran yesterday and didnot eat a big dinner, or is it the real thing. Time will tell. Ofcourse my first instinct is to eat the pan of brownies the 14yo made yesterday, but I think I will give my body a chance to feel lighter by a pound.
Its really difficult to be aware of what one is eating at all times.
Exercise is easy, schedule it, do it and forget it. But eating- so many choices, at all times of the day , and affected by so many factors- family, friends, moods, the days weather, etc etc etc.Today, just for today, I am going to be strong and manage my food intake sensibly. Just for today.

Its so beautiful outside today- may go for a walk later.

And so it starts.

2009-01-09T18:25:00.000-08:00

Picked up my 7yo from her play date and she told me, nearly in tears, that she weighed 70 pds and her friends were 65, so they said she was fat. First thought, you r not fat!!. And shes not, shes an active 7yo, who like all 7yos prefers McDonalds to home cooked food, but no, no superfluous flesh. So told her she was heavier because of the muscle she has, that helped only when it was echoed by the 14yo sister, and she calmly went onto eat a 100 cal snack.

Lets see what the long-term repurcussions of this new knowledge are. For now, she seems to be OK. We will have our fat vs fit discussion soon.

I ran today. And have realised, running after a 2 day gap is grrreat! I went so fast, I was worried I would fall on my face! And I could run longer sessions than before. 4.1m in 53 min. Want to be able to do 4.1m in 48min. Shave off 5 min till May. Was reading the Feb issue of Runnersworld and there is an article on effect of age on running performance which says it improves for the middleaged starting runners till it peaks 10 years later- or something to that effect. Basically means I can expect improvement in my running times for another few years. My goal is very small- to be able to run a 12 min mile- thats all. Good for now.

The 'why' of weight gain

2009-01-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

Was watching Oprah yesterday and then browsing some weight loss sites and blogs- nowadays the calorie counting and exercise is only a small part of the whole weight loss program. Now there are questions to be answered:

- why did you gain it in the first place,
- what do you want- which was repeated atleast 50 times if not more on Oprah yesterday and apparently there is a very deep meaning to it,apart from calorie dense gooey, chocolatey, treats and then why do you crave those
- who makes you eat,
- who sabotages your efforts,
- when do you tend to eat the most,
- what sets off the binges?

So now apart from math for counting calories and anatomy/physiology for knowing how the body responds to exercise, we will have to become adept at psychology to understand our deepest feelings towards food! Well, I am all for higher learning and education.

I did think over the above questions.

I gained weight for the very reason most of us do, kids, the stresses of family life, a full-time job, hormonal?reasons, just plain greediness. But the major question for me now is that all those triggers have resolved, my kids are older and there are no leftovers for me to clean, they dont need me 24/7, I am set in my job and family, so why am I still fat? Narrowed it down to two reasons- general greediness for food, anything to keep chewing- dont like gum- and plain and simple boredom. I have enough to keep me busy but the calorie damage can happen in the 2 minutes it takes from going from one activity to the next.

I think I am just holding onto any excuse not to change my habit of over-eating. I exercise, so I think I can eat as much as I want which is not true. I want to be healthy and look good- well, as good as a 40YO can look, but I dont think I have made a commitment to put in my 100% yet. I am talking the talk , but not doing it yet.

When do I eat the most? The binges happen when I am cold, when I enter the house after a days work, when I am with family and friends, when I am thinking-my mind working furiously so my mouth has to keep up too. Do I know all this? Yes. Do I do anything about it?- well, today I switched on the heat first thing as I entered the house and ate a veggie sandwich instead of standing in the pantry followed by a hot cup of tea, but this happens maybe once in a week.

So , its basically me who has to make the change, when will it happen?, when I decide, not before, not after. That realisation- that I cant blame anyone else is the most defining one, the one which will help me change. Till then, happy eating and logging!

Proud of me....

2009-01-05T20:45:00.000-08:00

...which is easy to be. Since I dont do much normally and when I do do something which I was supposed to be doing anyway, its a good thing.

I was supposed to run/walk 4 miles today. Today is the beginning of my 16-week program to a half-marathn in May2009. Well, it was raining, so I decided to move indoors on the elliptical or treadmill. I dont like our t-mill, so the elliptical was the torture of choice. Then I had to take my 7yo for her activity of the day and an hour later the 14yo for soccer practice. I also had to cook and do some minor picking-up-stuff around the house.

It was 7.20 pm by the time I dropped the last girl at her house and turned towards mine. At this point I was just thinking of changing into my nightclothes and burrowing under the comforters. It was cold,damp, foggy, end of the day, one day of missing exercise wouldnt matter much,I am hungry, as it is even with exercise I am not losing much, etc,etc,etc.

And then I saw her. Imagine a typical old black and white movie scene- your car stops at the stop-sign, its raining, you can see the raindrops under the golden light of the lamp-post and then, instead of a handsome guy/beautiful girl,a middle aged lady passes under the lamp, walking slowly, but clearly for exercise. And that scene touched me more than my DH calling me'fatso'. If she can do it in all the above conditions, so could I! Came home, fed the 14yo, made tea for the DH, helped the 7yo send email to all her friends and family and got on the elliptical for a full 47 min,3miles,450calorie session. Finished at 8:45, had enough time to shower, snack and sleep.

Yay meeee!!

Size 14- happiest!!

2009-01-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

So this was the heading for a news flash at the bottom of the msn.com homepage. And ofcourse I read it. And it said that size 14 women were the happiest, while size 6 came at the bottom of the list. Wow!! So all this effort I am trying to do to reach a size 6 is useless? This is the happiest I will ever be??

I know why they(whoever 'they' is ) came to this conclusion. See, at a size 14, I have so much to do to reach a goal of size 6. Firstly, I have a goal. Then I exercise and diet to reach that goal. For that, I first surf the web or the library aisles for all sorts of types of exercise and diet. Then I try those one by one. Its not as simple as it sounds. All this takes time., Trying out each new fad diet or exercise program and discarding it, going into a funk when things dont work and teying to get out of that funk. So all this keeps a size 14 busy and therefore happy.
Now look at a size 6- what does she have to do? Nothing. She is at her ideal weight and has a program set in place to keep her there, so that frees up a lot of hours in her day. What does she do with those?? Idle mind, Devil's workshop!

Have you ever read the comments of a person who's completed a long journey e.g. climbing the Mt. Everest or finishing a long race? They all say the journey was more enjoyable and fulfilling than the final destination. So for a Size 14, the journey from being an overweight person to a slim-trim sz 6 is emotionally satisfying and therefore makes her happy.

Ok, all that was said in jest. Who knows who these people are, or the science behind these facts. And who says science is always right, maybe I am the sz 14 unhappy with her weight and therefore trying to lose it. Tho I still feel its easier to climb a mountain than to lose weight. And I am always right!!

New beginnings!

2009-01-03T11:34:00.000-08:00

First run of the year done in brand new Asicss-gel-panthera shoes! No shin splints. Tho the run seemed difficult but time was slightly less than 14minmile so that felt good.

Have got my 16 week program to run a half marathon , which reminds me , I have to sign up for it today. I have made this paper log and sign off each day, the number of logs I have it seems I must be a world class athlete, or doing really good with the diet and exercise.
Lets see, I log my food intake and daily activity on fitday.com. It shows me a calorie balance for the day and week and month etc, I always seem to be in the negative( which means I have gone beyond the daily goal of calorie intake)
Then I have this blog where I log in the daily activity under'see my progress'.
And as mentioned above I have the paper log which I keep in my paper journal!!

You would think all that logging would keep me busy enough to prevent stuffing myself, but no, it takes only 2 min to do serious damage to the daily calorie goal.
I am getting slightly more serious about the weight loss goal. I really want to get faster in running, just upto 12 min miles and I know that even losing 10 pounds might help me reach that goal.

Also, as I get near another birthday, it seem as if each extra pound I have is the reason for looking older than my chronological age. I am too old to be influenced by the media images but I see women in my neightbourhood who really look 10 years younger, simply because they are of ideal body weight and less. This feeling will last maybe all of 2 hours, I have been observing them for the last 4-5 years with no change in my actions towards the positive, but still.

Aiming for 3 fruit and 3 veggie serving today.

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-01T14:38:00.001-08:00

To everyone.
New beginnings, and hopefully good endings.

Went for a walk today-5.8miles. It was really cold, so that I was all stiff by the end of it. And walking at that slow pace didnt cause much warmth even at the end of the walk.
The DH wanted to celebrate the new year by splurging on a Black Forest chocolate cake, which we did , hence the long walk today, tho I doubt the 400 or so calories expended would help control the damage done. Its OK, new years day comes once in a year-definitly cause for celebration;)

Dec21 - Dec 30

2008-12-30T22:27:00.000-08:00

No change to report, no gain or loss. So net loss in 2 months is 2-3 pounds , which might just be the water weight. Now I have to lose 33 pounds in 10 months, which means 3.3pds per month. See how it comes up to 15 pds a month!!

No exercise today, and no food log either. Again got caught in the habit of waiting to start a new diet/exercise program on the 1st of a month/week.

But i did use my time somewhat wisely. I decluttered today. Heres why:
Its a fact that we use only 20% of our belongings 80% of the time.
Theres a theory that clutter and excess weight/fat go hand in hand.
My theory is that I eat out of boredom, theres nothing to do , so lets stand in the pantry and gorge on whatever there is-ricecrackers with peanut butter with peanuts with chocolate chips because there are no cookies or chocolate left...anything goes.
Its the end of the year and I like to start my new year with a clean slate, in this case, a clean closet/bathroom cabinets/pantry.

So I started with the bathroom cabinets and got out all my unused makeup/ creams/toothbrushes and half used toothpastes, dried tubes of lipcolor and unrecognisable bottles of nailcolor. All those creams bought almost a year ago which promised I would look 30 instead of 40 and which i didnt use after the first week because obviously that claim was totally false and nothing could prevent my real age from showing on my face unless I suddenly woke up as a 40 year old hollywood actress!

Then I moved onto the closet which is filled with clothes from sizes 10-14. And I took a vow - I will not buy a single piece of clothing for the next 6 months- not another t-shirt or fleece to lounge in or pants for work or socks or workout clothes - nothing. This is ridiculous!- I have enough to last a lifetime. I admit none of it is what I love but I cant love these till I either accept myself at the weight i am or do something about it.

And since I am trying to do something about this weight, I can wait to see if I will have any good results in the next 6 months, maybe I will be a size smaller and then the shopping trip will be all the more sweeter!

New Year Resolutions-Weight loss

2008-12-29T08:54:00.000-08:00

Switch on the T.V and every channel has a segment on new year resolutions, with the commonest and sometimes the only one being discussed is weight loss. Year after year after year, its the same one- lose weight, look better, feel good about oneself.

I was maybe 14 when I first started making resolutions, only to 'forget' them by the end of January. Each year, around the last week of December, when the winter break started, I would get a beautiful journal or diary and make a set of 10-15 resoluitons- to lose weight being the 1st, topmost, most important one. There were others- to be more calm, collected, not to lose temper-very difficult when you have an irritating younger sister who would pass sarcastic remarks each time I started with those lists.

Then I made the mother of all lists of resolutions in 1992, the year I got married.There were things I wanted to do like learn some foreign languages, learn to cook properly, learn a musical instrument, visit a foreign country, etc- just the sort of things every average youngster wants to do in life. But again weight loss topped the list- even tho I was at my ideal weight at that time, it seemed so transient- i sort of knew I would blow up once I had kids, and again I loved/love to eat.
It came to pass as I had predicted, I did gain all that weight and treid some half hearted attempts to lose it and over the last few years just gave up on the weight loss resolution. And no, even this year-2009, its not a resolution. Because I have been sneaky, I already started on that goal in November of 2008, so its not a resolution, so it cant be broken, so I have a very good chance of actually attaining this goal.

But the reason of this post was actually to discuss some of the ways to lose weight as discussed over the numerous T.V channels:

Have a small goal- something attainable like 5-10 pounds, not 40-50 pounds.

'To lose weight' is not an action, so make a small active change in your behaviour, like being more active in general- taking the stairs, parking further away from the store, playing with the kids/dog etc. I actually read this somewhere- take the dogs for a walk twice a day, even if you dont have a dog!

Baby steps, small changes, 2 cookies instead of 4, whole wheat instead of white, water instead of soda-even diet soda. And journal the food intake- this one really helps.

Best of luck with your resolutions. And write them down somewhere visible- the fridge/bathroom mirror/next to the computer/T.V so you dont forget, like I do.

My resolution for 2009? To learn the piano, and I am going right now to set up the classes!

Forgotten aims

2008-12-28T20:07:00.000-08:00

So for the last week, or two, or even three, I have not been logging my daily intake. and it shows. Larger meals, more quantity of sweet biscuits with tea, frequent snacks, no fruit,no water,... and the list could go on. Am at home, with the kids, for the winter vacation. Had some house guests for a couple of days, so did a lot of cooking, and it was officially for them, but I polished off more than them.

We used to be neighbours in Michigan approximately 4 years ago, so I havent seen her in this much time. At that time both of us had just had our younger ones, and we would walk at night after dinner in the attempt to lose the post baby weight. Well, she did manage to lose it and I think I gained all that she lost. So now she is at a healthier weight.
But , you know , weight is a very small part of the whole 'being healthy' concept. She is doing an executive MBA, which means she has to spend a weekend every 15 days away from her family, and the stress of the course homework, alongwith her full-time job and household duties is showing up on her face which looked so withdrawn. And she was so exhausted that after lunch instead of having a heart to heart talk, she dozed off on the sofa for 3 straight hours. So that gave me plenty of time to munch the afternoon away.

But health is the presence of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. The lack of any one of those prongs leaves us feeling unbalanced.
On the other side of the coin, for me atleast is, that when I eat, I feel happy, I thank God and turn into a generally chirpy, perky person- the kind who can give you a headache. So I dont know what exactly I should do- try and lose this weight , focus on the numbers on the scale to be healthy OR just eat my way into eternal bliss!

No, I am going back to the logging food intake and exercising- well , I have walked or run or used the elliptical most days of the week, so thats not the major problem- the problem is the eating which goes haywire if I dont log regularly. And so this month, there will be not much to report in terms of weight loss, I will be pleased if I dont have to report any gain!
And so I am behind by 3 pounds towards my goal of minus36. Thats Ok, better luck next time.

Dreams and VRAA

2008-12-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

So yesterday after blogging here, I went onto the runnerslounge.com. One of the groups featured there is doing a Virtual Run Across America starting January 2009!! And I signed on! I dont really understand how it works, but I had been toying with the idea of trying to complete 1000 miles in 2009, and this group will run from the East coast to the West Coast in 365 days. Each mile will equal 10 land miles. I will look this up- the distance from the Atlantic to the Pacific across America. I was so enthusiastic that today I managed to run inspite of the shin splints. And I bought new shoes- Asics Gel, panther or some such name, which sound as if they would make me fly over the asphalt- I will start using them Jan 1st 2009. I am so excited!!

Talking of dreams, I think I am a dreamer. Yeah, by 40 , I know this much about myself! Have you heard the Aesop's fable about the milkmaid who starts off with one pail of milk, which she imagines will bring her many riches and when the village boys come to ask for her hand, she would toss her head to say 'no', and she actually tosses her head and drops the precious milkpail, there go her riches and dreams??

Well, I am sort of like her. When I start off with any project, instead of visualising the journey to the ultimate goal, involving hard work and sweat, I get giddy with the joy of having acheived it already. When I read of someone elses exploits, I imagine myself doing the same .
When I first started running, in my dreams, after the marathon I would attempt the Applachian Trail, never mind that my dtrs and DH conspire to keep me under house arrest.
When I started with the weight loss goal, I would lose all the 36 pounds and more and have a lean , mean fighting machine for a body- usually this would be visualised standing in the pantry stuffing myself with stale peanuts or crackers.
My dtrs did not keep up with their piano lessons and I saw myself going for piano lessons and then playing all those old romantic numbers in some esteemed company.

But as some nice person said 'Those who dream, do'. So I keep dreaming and maybe I will never be able to walk/run the Applachian Trail- who can take off for 4-6 months form family life- but I might be able to finsh the Virtual Run Across America!

Goals 2009

2008-12-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

Browsing the blogs... and everyone seems to be in the same boat. Winter depression, laziness, wanting to curl up under the comforters, comfort foods, etc.

A few enterprising souls are setting up new running goals for 2009, the active.com discussion forums has a lot of newbies with their first running goals- to complete the C25K or run their first 5K, the runnerslounge.com has the topic of 'review 2008 in terms of running in 52 words or less' for their Take it and run Thursday .

Its the time to review the past year. I think I have come a long way- I have covered almost 750miles in the last one year. I have completed a marathon- I know it was slow, and compared to some others who do so many in a year, it seems nothing, but hey, it was the first step!! Diet and weight have always been an issue, and maybe this year -2009- I might see some changes. But as far as general health is concerned, it has improved due to this regular activity. I dont have the ankle and knee pain I was having regularly on first moving in the morning. And going up and down the stairs is definitly easier! I did not get to tired in the middle of the day as I had started getting these past few years. Very small, intangible changes, but I will take them as a start.

Now for the goals for 2009:

I do want to complete 2 half marathons; one in May, the other in November.I do want to take less time completing these- dream time-> 2h59min.

I do want to lose the 36 pounds, of which I have lost only 2 in these last 2 months. Just means I have to tighten the belt come January.

With regards to health and fitness, those are the only 2 goals, lets see how much I am able to accoplish!

ON again

2008-12-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

No loss at all, just am glad the scale didnt show a gain, esp after all this binging.
Yest, I did do the elliptical for 35 min, it showed a calorie burn of 350 cal, which I know is absolutly wrong, because I barely broke a sweat. Went on line to all the elliptical sites and apparently you do burn close to 720 cal per one hour on the elliptical. So now am planning to add that on to my workout schedule, maybe 20-30 min while watching T.V.
Before the workout tho, I made some comfort food-rice and lentils for me. And after the workout, had 2 bowls of the rice-lentils-veggie goodness. Nothing beats a bowl heaped with hot rice, and that is the major cause of my humongous tummy. I have tried switching to brown rice, but find it so chewy and hard, maybe, its the way I make it. Will try again.

Today walked to GB'S house, with my 7yo- the distance I cover in 20 min took 30 min, and coming back maybe 40 min, because the little lady was tired. On the way back she wanted to carry the 2pd weights from GB's house, who do u think carried those after the first few steps?

So , no change to report, hovering around the same 2pound loss I had in the first month. I was hoping to see some change this time, but have enough experience with weight loss and gain to know that would be impossible this time.

Waiting for the new year to start, then back on schedule to run the half-marathon in May. Maybe that will kick-start my weight loss, I havent run in 2 weeks, so maybe thats why the pounds are still holding onto me.

off the wagon...

2008-12-19T16:38:00.000-08:00

..for these last 10 day session. Really made a fool of myself. Might have lost a pound around the 15th but instead of consolidating that loss, started eating like crazy. Each evening after binging on crackers, cheese, bread,chocolate, decide , OK, that happened, let it go, move on, control yourself and than repeat the same behaviour the next day. Should have lost 5 pounds by tomorrow- doubt it.

And almost no exercise in the last few days. Forgot that I was paying a dollar for each 45 min workout session, and am supposed to do 250 sessions this year. Forgot that to lose any weight , I have to exercise for atleast 45 min a day and move another 30 min. Was talking to a friend who said that exercise to her now is as essential as food. She goes to the gym for 90 min 2 weekdays and both days of the weekend. There is a small group of people who meet at the same time so its a built in social circle. To me, even after exercising for the last one year , regularly, I have to remind myself to do it, its as essential to me as, what?..nothing.

I think the cold , wet, grayness of this season is getting to me. I am going to put on some music, change into my workout clothes and get on the elliptical, right now, as in now.

Hunger pangs

2008-12-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

I had those yesterday. Was off from work and ate more than a 1000 calories in half an hour- crackers, cheese, bread, bagel, peanuts, banana..., nothing high calorie , decadent, creamy , gooey, sugary sweet. Just very sensible choices to tide me over from breakfast till lunch. But just could not make myself stop. I think I cleaned out the pantry good and proper.

I think it was psychological mixed with some hormonal/physiological stuff. See, I woke up and weighed myself, and I was one pound less than the week before. One whole pound!! I moved this way and that on the machine just to make sure. This was after I had had my breakfast and tea and 12 oz water, so naturally I thought I must be somewhat lighter than even that. Exactly one hour later my hunger pangs started. It must be my body's way to replenish the lost fat, who knows when I face starvation! or psychologically I just dont want to lose the weight. Tho my sane self says thats not possible, I would do anything to lose it. I think I am my biggest saboteur(sp?).

Today woke up and there is frost on the ground, temps less than 30 degrees. May go out for a walk in the afternoon, if the sun continues to visit with us.

The Blame Game

2008-12-14T09:24:00.001-08:00

We had some friends over for dinner, and they were looking considerably slimmer than before. The husband has lost upto 25 pounds in the last 6 months or less, following a low carb diet, and the wife lost some too because now even she doesnt eat those foods since she doesnt have to cook those for him. He basically said hes been trying to count calories etc.

So I got jealous. Very! Why is it so easy for some. Leave alone that I havent seen them in 6 months, and 6 months for a motivated guy is enough to lose 25 pounds.

Then the converstion turned to the early days after our marriage and my DH kept regaling them with accounts of how he doesnt like to read and I do which he could never understand etc etc etc.
I meanwhile was remembering my weight at that time which was a slim 105 pounds. And how , whenever we went out anywhere, he would point out overweight , obese women and say 'there goes your future look'. He would keep commenting on how much I ate, and as he eats faster than me, he would be done by the time I started, so that left him critisicing my food choices for the rest of the meal. The sane part of me ignored him , putting down his behaviour as his problem. But how often do we listen to the sane part of us??

No, I played the blame game. Everytime , he said something about my weight or food intake, I would eat more to show I didnt care, basically behave like a 2 yo who does the exact opposite of what you tell them not to do. And everytime he showed me a fat woman as my 'future', I would say 'OK, may you get your wish'

So , over time, I have gained weight, my eating habits are atrocious, I am exactly like the overweight women my DH pointed out to me. And when I remember all this , I have a bad taste in my mouth, I feel like ... I dont know what.

But , once in a great while, the sane part of me will come to the forefront and tell me, ' NB, so what if he said all that, maybe he hoped to make you more concious of your food choices, maybe he was concerned about your health. Even if not that, even if he is an evil minded person who thrives to put you down at each meal time, why do you have to listen to such a bad person? Why cant you use your brains? How old are you now? why cant you behave like an adult, instead of a 2 year old? Does he come and shove food into your mouth? Does he prevent you from doing weights or exercise? Even if he makes silly comments about your weight or your efforts to lose it, do you have to listen to him? And if he is such a mean guy, you dont want to be unhealthy and be at his mercy for care later on in life, so take care of yourself now.'

And that is not the only reason I gained weight. I have always been on the chubbier side as a kid, and I do love to eat ,and he was just the right person to palm off all the blame onto. Dont we all do that, first its the parents who are the reason for our incompetencies and then the spouse and ultimately the kids. Oh, no, we would be perfect if not for all those people!!!

Now I am in a mood to start listening to my sane voice. What happened then is gone. He doesnt say all those things any more, maybe because I am the fat person now. And as they say: The best revenge is a life lived well.

So I am going to live a good life, I am going to continue exercising and eating right. Slowly, I will reach my goals. 16 years of being fat and overweight, it will take time to erase that.

What about you, who do you like to blame??

DEc 11-Dec 20

2008-12-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

No weight loss to report for the last 10 days. Felt sort of low and giving up for a couple of days, hence no posts. Also missed a couple of workouts because of play-dates- my 7yo and her friends- and some other normal life interruptions.

However am feeling better , mentally, now . Phases of life, who knows what affects your mood and sense of physical well-being.

Back on track from today. Keep logging. Started with 5 min of yoga in the morning before the day starts. I have always been a fan of the surya namaskar- sun salutations and do those 3-4 times, gradually will add on some more poses. Did some free weights too, maybe 5 min and will build up the sets too.

Was reading the Twilight series of books- for the uninitiated, its a story of a teenager who falls in love with a vampire and now is pestering him to turn her into one too. OK, its supposed to be much deeper than that but that line explains it all.
I was just analyzing the thought- I cant imagine for even one moment giving up the experience of living life- I guess I am a tad bit selfish- I dont think I would like to miss this whole cycle of growing up, growing old, the daily trials and tribulations of mothering etc.
But suppose you are faced with a vampire, just suppose. How would you plead for your life?
You know what I would say? I would say ' its Ok if you want to turn me into a vampire, but can you give me some more time to lose some weight so I can be a slim, trim, beautiful vampire, as I am going to be frozen in time, and then I,would never have the chance to lose this lard??'
Imagine losing the sense of taste, not eating for the rest of life!!

New Beginnings

2008-12-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

So this is our new site. GB worked on it when she had some time and I like the results, all X'massy.

Went for a R/W 3.7m in about 55min, included a hill 8%grade, information courtsey mapmyrun, where now the elevation map is multicolored and the grade of the incline is also given.

Didnt run/walk these last 2 days, just didnt plan the day right and nowadays am feeling a bit low. When I was in my twenties , I would think that the SAD syndrome, fibromyalgia, depression etc are all figments of a bored mind, that people, women esp. would not have half the problems if they took care of themselves which included eating right and exercising.
However I have been pretty good with both in the past few months and still could not escape the advent of this cold weather. Esp these past few days, the cold seems to bite instead of nip. And my first instinct is to cook dinner and then hide under the comforter. Did it for 2 days, went into bed at 7pm and sleep at 8! Today I managed to sit back after cooking to blog and read. Even tho I do the hour of activity , its no use if I start laying in bed for longer periods of time!

No weight loss to report this time, even tho there are 5 days still left, but cant feel it happening. Dont think will be able to do my workouts over the weekend, DH is on call. And everyday there is some little thing which takes me over the required 1700 cal. One little piece of chocolate and I go to 1900 cal and that means no loss at the end of 10 days. I will be happy if I dont gain this holiday season.

Its always something!!

2008-12-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

R/W 3.6m in 51 min. But the shin splints in the lower legs! they killed me today. Why, why after 1 year of running I still get these shin splints. Absolutely horrible. Came back and iced and stretched but am dreading running again on thursday. 4m Walk tomorrow, Dec goal is to build upto 8 mile LSD.

I love this season, the cold air, the lights, the warm clothes, the hot food and drinks. But I hate the fact that I have to be on the lookout for things which make me slip on the diet track. Today someone left a box of chocolates in the office. Designer chocolates, the ones with swirls of pink and white on them, 170 cal apiece. And all that I had read and written about in the past one month flew out of the window! Ate TWO of those!! But atleast I am feeling guilty for eating two , previously I would eat 3 and wonder why i hadnt taken a fourth! To salvage I had zucchini for dinner. Surprise, even my finicky 7yo ate it up.

So its started, the next 29 days I will be facing temptations everywhere. After the 2nd chocolate I have decided that I dont particularly care for that taste- it felt chalky, so I dont think I will be succumbing to its lure again. Yeah, I can say that today, but get a box in front of me when I am stressing out over some point and see me hog the whole thing.

Later on I did read the nutrition label on the box and it broke every rule I had mentioned yesterday- more than 5 ingrediants, with unfamiliar, unpronounceable names, not belonging in the outside periphery of the store and my grandma would absolutely not think that it is edible food- she would put them on the shelf as decoration!

Now if only I can remember all this the next time!

In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

2008-12-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

Finished the book. Its a good book, he goes over all the types of food available and it gets a bit technical , however I liked the last 1/3rd of the book in which he has suggestions on how to have a healthy approach to food and eating. He has quoted Wansink(Mindless Eating) and I liked both their suggestions.
Its basically all the points which we are aware of but dont take into consideration in actual life.

- Eat food which your grandmother or great grandmother would recognise as food. That automatically takes out all the packaged chips, yogurts, meats, flavored drinks, sodas etc, which means less sodium and less high fructose corn syrup(HFCS) which is considered to be the main culprit in making one fat because apparently it creates a craving for more sugar laden and high calorie foods.

- Avoid foods with more than 5 ingrediants, unfamiliar or unpronounceable names or again HFCS- so again all those above foods are out.

- Shop the periphery of the grocery store and if possible stay out of it and instead go to the farmers market.

- Eat mostly plants esp the leaves.

- Eat meals, eat at the table and not on the dashboard

- Eat slowly

- Cook, and if u can, plant a garden

There are other , very valid points but I am starting with these as they seem slightly more easy to follow. However, believe me when I say that it is very difficult to find foods with less than 5 ingrediants on their list. And HCFS is everywhere!! Take the healthiest bread in the store and see.
I cook but its mostly meat/fish/lentils. Green veggies maybe once in 2 weeks, I used to more before but lately have stopped due to some reason, so have to get back in to that habit again.
I would love to have a veggie garden if I could have a gardener with it, the idea of growing veggies is lovely but actually toiling in the garden- not yet, maybe when the kids are a bit more grown.

Overall, the book is definately worth a read, if you are interested in re-learning about food. Maybe I will pick up The Omnivores Dilemma again- I had dropped it because it was really detailed, with lots of information.

Rest day today, 4 miles tomorrow. Had stopped running last week because of pain in the right calf, will try again tomorrow.

Nov21-Nov30

2008-11-30T16:29:00.000-08:00

No loss again, however, no gain either after having those two big slices of pie.
A bit disappointed, could be due to anything; I didnt run as much, maybe I am not as good with the logging of food intake, maybe it will show up as negative next month. So only 2 pound loss for November 2008, instead of the goal of 3. Thats OK, I will take it.

Goals for Dec 1-Dec 10:
- R/W 5 days a week.
- Try again with the free weights, hadnt started because in the back of mind is the fact that when I do start weight lifting, I might gain some weight in 4-6 weeks due to increase in muscle mass etc; I know, weak argument, so get back to it.
- Add a fruit a day; in the last one month have had only 2 pears and 1 banana- in the whole one month!!! So goal is one fruit a day- pear/banana/grapes/apples- I dont like apples.

This is harder than I thought.

Apple Pie...

2008-11-25T19:06:00.000-08:00

...the first of this season, 360 calories of pure goodness, with 1 spoon of vanilla icecream, no guilt, pure satisfaction, no desire to stuff myself.

Had walked this morning for an hour which burnt approx 300 calories. Will go again tomorrow for a 60-90 min walk, hopefully in preparation of another piece, but this time of pumpkin pie!!

Life is good:)

Food and Books

2008-11-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

I love both and realised that just as I cant pass any chocolatey, gooey, creamy stuff, I cant pass up any magazine and just as I eat big portion sizes of the healthy food, I overdose on books.

Went to the library and they had an announcement of being closed for Thanksgiving. To me that is a signal of book starvation coming up, so I brought back 25-30 books, 15 for my 7yo so she cant complain of not having anything to read, rest for me. At this time I have 3 books on food and diet-'The Omnivores Dilemma','In defense of food' both by M.Pollan and 'Fit to live'by Pamela Peeke. I didnt know where to start and so I have started all three, keep forgetting what I am reading, keep reading the same stuff, get frustrated, throw them on the side and hit the pantry.

Talking of behaviours which trigger over-eating, for me a good book has to be accompanied by some food. As a teenager, my favorite past-time was to get lost in an Enid Blyton with a stack of sandwiches next to me. My mother would wonder how a whole loaf of bread would disappear by the time she came back from her evening walk!
Nowadays being able to read for even 15 min straight is a luxury, there is always someone whose need is more pressing, and as I get older, Ok, I am not that old, but still it takes me more time to assimilate material now than before.

Walked more , ran some, 3miles in 45 min. Nice sunnny morning, Right calf still hurting off and on so taking it easy.

Today on MSN, they have an article of the fitness of the OBamas- how they wake up early to fit exercise in their schedules. Good for them, and if they can do it, we can too- yes , we can!! Her arms are great tho. Free weights from today!!

Addition, subtraction and weight loss

2008-11-22T13:14:00.000-08:00

Was teaching my 7yo some addition and to emphasise the point said "2+2 is always going to be = to 4, whatever you do."

Then the next thought was 'except in weight loss.'

Why ? , because it takes subtracting 7000 calories to lose 2 pounds but only 300 measly xtra calories on a rest day to put it all back on my petite frame.

Anyway, today had to take my 14yo for soccer game to a community 45 min away so had no time in the morning to finish my LSD. Out there its a place I'd never been to before so I decided to walk around looking at the houses etc. Its a relatively new community, each house in the range of 2-3million, with large lawns and landscaping around. The whole community has a loop of pavement running around it, which one kind elderly couple told me was about 4.5-5miles. So I started off, thinking I would just walk the loop in maybe 1h20min max. The loop turned out to be so hilly, with curves going up and down every few steps that it took me much longer. But the view was lovely- the houses, birds, golf course, the sunny cold morning, I thoroughly enjoyed it tho it took me almost 1h40min and I missed the first half of the game.

I will maybe run tomorrow, since today was the walk day.

Try and focus on the calories again, was so hungry when I came back that loaded on the bread with cheese omelette. Now the kids want to go to The Cheesecake Factory tonite to celebrate I dont know what and their Dad seems to be in an expansive mood so he said 'yes' which means I will be one expanded person soon!

Celebrating too soon..

2008-11-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

So what did I do today?

I had a Daphne's vegetarian Combo Plate for a late lunch.
Damage done : 918 calories!!!
2/3 of my daily intake.
Problem was, I had already had another 300 cal just while waiting to get to the place. From 2pm to 2.30pm , when we had to pick up the 14yo to take her with us, I had some peanuts, and oreo cakester, 3 m&ms and that is approx 300 cal. Add the morning oatmeal and I am done for the day at 5.30 pm. So for the rest of the evening I can only have tea or water.

Why, why do I overeat on the rest days??. I have noticed that so many times. I think I will start walking everyday, maybe just 20 min on the rest days to remind myself of my challenge.

Well, the 2 pd loss was good while it lasted.

Soccer tournament tomorrow, so am running the taxi service again, so will have to plan when to do the LSD-6 miles, maybe while shes playing the 2nd game?

Nov11 to Nov20

2008-11-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

and I have lost 2 pounds,two pounds!! Cant believe it, know that this could be simply water weight,BUT, I am 2 pounds lighter today. Much better than being 2 pounds heavier.

So how did this happen, because there definatly wasnt a change in the first 10 days.
What did I do better:
--I am more regular with logging the daily intake on fitday.com
--I have walked/run approx. 45-50 min 5 days a week.

Other than that I do not think I have done any thing major. Daily calorie intake has been 1500-1600, the one thing I have done consiously is to not eat out of the house, so I wonder how it will play out after our Friday lunch at Daphne's.
I log in the daily food intake in the morning itself so I know what I will be having for each meal and snack ,and how much. That way if I have anything out of the ordinary, I can factor that into the calorie budget and stop eating once I reach 1500 calories.

Previously whenever I started a weight loss program, I would only do those actions which I thought I could maintain for life. So I never counted calories, or went for long walks, thinking that I wouldnt be able to maintain it forever. That thought is still at the back of my mind, however, now the idea is to first lose the weight and then worry about maintainance. And if I do it healthily, it shouldnt be difficult to maintain. Exercise 1 hour a day is a must as it is, and counting calories is a way to teach myself about the correct portion sizes.

Goals for Nov 21-Nov 30:

-Walk/Run 5days a week, 60 min minimum, esp during Thanksgiving break.

-Try and get 100%of the nutrients in a day- this might be more of a long-term thing, my daily nutrition lacks in a few vitamins etc, so I will work on them one by one.
This session I will work on the Calcium- try to get 100%calcium everyday.

2 pounds gone...WOW!!!

Walking in the woods..

2008-11-19T20:06:00.000-08:00

...well, not in the woods, but it felt like it. Its a tree lined street down which I walked today, 4mile round trip. And the trees have changed colors- brilliant fiery orange, lemon yellow, dark green, shades of maroon- an artists palette. I used to admire flowers but now have transfered my loyalties to trees. And the lawns are covered with the fallen leaves, all crunchy under the feet. Its like the set of a movie. I think I took longer today because slowed down to look at some of them- not that I mind, some walks should be just for pleasure.

Last year at this time my long walks were 2-2.5miles, nowadays 3 miles is a short workout!

Today went to the library for M.Pollans book- In Defense of Food, had to put that on hold, instead got The Omnivores Dilemma by the same author. The reviews are good, tho I guess I will just skip over the technical parts, not in a mood to read any heavy stuff. OTOH, decided to read some good books- to that end got Beloved by Toni Morrison, its been some time since I read any thought provoking literature, its been all candy floss magazines for too long. As I am getting more choosy about what I put in my body, so it is for my mind.

Thanksgiving Break coming up- 9 whole days with my kids at home, and along with kids come 3 regular meals, umpteen snacks, leftovers which I have to finish, candy, pumpkin pie, the couch and movies and popcorn!! So the plan is to do my workout in the morning while they are still in bed, 4miles in the morning and I am set for the day. And I have to start being more mindful of there eating too- they have developed a liking for taco bell bean burritos recently, have to wean them off before they end up like me.

Was reading today- the average american woman is 5feet 4 inches, 157 pounds. This is the first time in my life that I am above average- 5'3", 160 pds ;)
Hope to be below average soon!!

Random thoughts

2008-11-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

Went for R/W 3.8m in 56 min. Have diagnosed the cause of the pain behind right knee- its because I did all those sessions of downhills and uphills a week ago. Was feeling OK when started but had a tight sensation in the right leg, heaviness, couldnt take a proper stride. Carried on for sometime and felt Ok by the time reached home. Lay down to do hamstring strtches and the right one is so tight and painful.
So within the next month I have to find somebody to do a gait analysis on me.

Diet is going Ok, log in everyday on fitday. That site is good, it gives the daily requirement, the calorie balance, the nutrition etc. But I dont agree with some of the calorie counts for the foods so try and match with the package counts.

I have noticed that running suppresses my appetite to a certain extent. So doing the session in the afternoon helps, I eat slightly less at the evening meal and the warm bath after helps me sleep better. Yesterday was rest day and I ate much more - just snacking and bits and pieces here and there.

I was surfing and came across this book- In Defense of Food by M. Pollan or Pollack. It has some good reviews on Amazon so I might get it to read over Thanksgiving Break.

...Which I am dreading because of the FOOD involved! Either one cooks at home or there is so much pressure to eat if you go anywhere else. I know the holidays come once a year but starting with the halloween candy thru Thanksgiving, X'mas, NewYears, its 4-5 solid months of eating. Doesnt help that my DH's b'day, our anniversary and my birthday are in Jan/Feb. So am hoping that the regular logging will hold me in check this time.

Havent done any free weights, tho do some yoga every couple of days and that keeps me limber. Might take the first week of Dec either complete rest from running or cut back to half of what am doing now. Need to give some rest to these old bones and tendons and ligaments etc.

Weigh-in in 2 days, lets see if there is any progress.

Little aches and pains...

2008-11-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

...which I hope dont turn into major activity stopping aches and pains.

Woke up at 5AM, had my tea and morning snack, woke up the DH who is himself nursing his own little aches and pains, in the knees and foot, and who now cant run but has to do a measly walk with me!

Started at 6.11 AM, beautiful weather, pinkish glow to the sky in the horizon, 60*, perfect.

But could not run. Attempted it at 4 different times, each time, pain in the lateral part of left knee, as if dry bone rubbibg against something, and feeling of something loose in the right knee. So felt very dejected, went over the past few workouts in my mind, I was Ok till my last workout on thursday which was a R/W but I had started feeling something wrong in the right knee then. Maybe its just my shoes which need to be changed since I have used them for atleas a year. I was planning on buying them over the winter break , so as to start with new shoes in 2009, but I guess I will have to get them now.

Came back home and did some knee strengthenening exercises, specifically for runners knee- tighten the muscles in the front of the leg 10-15 times, or raise the tight leg off the ground 5-10 times. I have had this problem before and the exercises helped then, have to get back into the habit of doing these after each run, sorry, walk, for now.

Reading an old issue of Runner's World, and they say black tea has more health giving properties- preventing cancer/heart ds etc than black tea with milk, the milk negates the healthy properties. My knee-jerk reaction was: I will drink only black tea from now even tho it tastes yuck to me. The next thought was: what is the use of living even 2 years extra if I spend the next 30 drinking that medicine tasting brew? In other words why should I spoil my taste 3 times a day for 30 years to have 2extra years and in todays economy who knows if I will be able to afford it?

So, drink tea with milk, eat more chocolate and keep walking, run if I can.

2 weeks done...

2008-11-14T19:28:00.000-08:00

...of this challenge,- nothing lost, everything gained.

Have been walking everyday, did R/W on wed , missed yest and today as soon as started running, within half a min had this uncomfortable feeling in the right calf, back of the knee. And also at the top of the left knee. Usually if I continue running, it goes away in a few min, but today it kept feeling as if something was loose inthe knee joint. So walked the whole way, might try the scheduled 5 mile tomorrow, or not, depending on how I feel.

The eating is a whole another story. Calculated on fitday.com: my basic metabolic rate needs 1700 cal every day, so to lose weight , I should be eating only 1400 cal every day, which is the most difficult thing to do.

The calories info on fitday does not match with the package info, so I try to put in the calorie no. as I see on the package. But I never realised I was eating so much. For example, in my eyes as long as the piece of bread is whole wheat , its Ok. Nope, one slice of whole wheat has atleast 100-120 cal depending on the brand, and fitday puts it in as 78 cal. So I have to double check everything and it gets a tiny bit tedious, esp for a person who doesnt like to get into the details of the matter.

My downfall is rice tho, one cup is such a meager serving, and I am not in the habit of measuring yet, so I just load it on- 200 cal per cup!! And lentils, supposedly very healthy, no doubt, a one cup serving in 333 cal. So if I eat both together, which is what I do mostly,- I can finish a whole days calorie goal in one sitting.

So I am not doing so good with the 'diet' part. And I was going to stop blogging. Then I thought that if nothing else, atleast I am trying. Tho the last time I 'tried' to lose weight, I gained 10 pounds. Anyway, if it takes even 2 months for this to sink in, like the marathon goal, atleast I will lose something in the end. At this time I will be happy even with a 12 pound loss at the end of the year.

So carry on eating and burning and logging.

I never lose...

2008-11-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

...weight , that is. Anything else , of course. But these pounds are mine and mine alone.

Weight today, lost nothing,nada, zero, zip, zilch. Dissapointed, ?..., no, in the back of mind, just know that this will be one slow journey, that is, if I move. For a moment felt like giving this up, whats the use, lets have a tangible goal, accopmlish something, but then, if not now, when. I do need to take care of my health, have borderline high blood pressure, just the xtra weight on the joints not good over the long term, love sweets so might end up with diabetes if dont control myself now, there is something called Metabolic syndrome X- a combination of some factors which I might be having which can cause chronic disease later on- i just dont want to be on a bunch of pills which I wont remember to take what with my failing memory.
So onward and forward I go !!

On a better note, was doing the Wii-fit and my calculated age is 35 years instead of the 40, so thats good.
I cant make my weight go down faster but there are some things I can try and control, so for the next 10 days (Nov11-Nov20):
- do the scheduled workout sessions, 7/10 days.
- start the program of strength training again.
- eat everything, yes, including the pizza, but according to the portion sizes. Find and note down the reasonable portions for some common foods.

LSD 3.63m

2008-11-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

Went for LSD yest, was supposed to be 4-5miles, but I did only 3.63, it started raining so I cut it short. BUT, i finished this distance in 51 min, this route which involves a long downhill and one of the big bad hills, this route which i previously used to finsh in 55-60 min. So that felt good, or maybe it was the rain making me go faster. Tho, I loved running in the rain, it wasnt pelting, just a light drizzle with warm temps of 60*, made for a nice sweet run.
And I did run for 5-10 min at a time.

On the weight loss front, tomorrow is weigh-in for me, tho I am not anticipating any loss, one pound??? how do u know its not water weight or if I have a salty chinese dinner, there goes any one measly pound that I lose.

I have to go for a walk today to complete the 5 scheduled workouts of the week. Have started doing yoga in the mornings again, or else feel stiff as a board. Walk down the stairs as if on cement legs and then as I do each pose, manage to loosen upa bit. Havent started with free weights yet, maybe next week.

Travel, EyeCamp, Life after marathon

2008-11-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

I have been traveling and have been the busiest. NB, that's a good idea. I did donate while I was at the camp and was thinking of different ways of collecting money throughout the year. Usually, people donate some and the maternal uncle contributes the rest. Why don't we find a way, we can discuss the specifics later, so that both of us contribute atleast half? We know the money is going for a noble cause and I have all the details.

Life after marathon - am visiting relatives and friends - here the common goal for everybody is to achieve a size zero. People who I thought couldn't lose more weight have lost more, though the emphasis is more on looks than on health. Huge motivation here to lose weight.

Want to create a separate weight loss blog and yes NB, add a weight counter, but am just not getting the time. Right now am stealing some time from what I should be doing.

Keep writing NB, good job ( I hope I can say that for your weight loss too ;))

Motivation, exercise, diet

2008-11-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

GB attended an eye camp last week where free eye operations were done for the needy.

I had a brilliant idea, as all my ideas are : I will put in a dollar for every workout I do towards a donation for the eye-camp. I dont know the specifics, how much is needed for one eye operation, but this is a selfish thing just to make me be more regular-with my workouts. A workout will be any session atleast 45 min in length or 45 min in a day if I have time constraints. If I workout 5 days a week, in 50 weeks I can collect $250. So that is the motivation...

...to exercise. Today was a rest day but I did some Wii-fit. I never actually tried it before and today I played this soccer simulating game in which one has to do headers- I never got past 300 points and today I got 506- 555 is the highest which GB and my 7yo and my dad- all Wii-fit experts, got. So that felt nice. As usual, if I am getting good at it, the first thought is 'I'll do this everyday', but I know I can never be regular. And that brings us to ...

the DIET. In which I am failing, miserably. OK, I know, its been only 7 days, and I have hogged huge amounts of chocolate in two of those, but still, dont feel as if anything is happening. Not that I would know, how does one 'know' if the loss is one pound of fat in 10 days. When I was preparing for the marathon, atleast I felt tired or sore or nervous or I had to do something, take action, move to prepare. But here the less i do the better. The less I eat, the more I lose. I have logged on my calories for this week, average is 1500, aim is 1400. Believe me , this is the most boring thing I have done, and thats what I keep telling myself- do it, lose the pounds, only because you find it a boring but difficult thing to do. If it were so easy, we would be models of fitness, and no-one would care about universal health coverage.

I love running...

2008-11-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

especially when its on a gently downgrading road, so gentle that one comes to know its downward inclined only after seeing the elevation chart on mapmyrun.

R/W 3.11miles in 45 min, last 12 min continuous running- loverly!! Included the bigbad hill so am ok with the time.

The eating left a lot to be desired. As usual was oK till lunch time, had my tea etc and then the daily dose of chocolate from my halloween stash. The only thing was that didnt stop with that one, actually had a craving for M&ms but got a reeses PBcup, then a small milky way, believe it or not, had 400 cal worth of chocolate till 14yo had pity on me and gave me her small funsize bag of m&ms which stopped the binge.

Lesson learnt: either dont eat even a small piece of the trigger food- in this case chocolate, or else eat exactly what you are craving for. Easier said than done.

Felt so yucky after that went for the run and tried harder to run instead of just walk. Made only okra for dinner which even the DH appreciated because he was off from work and had been eating mindlessly since morning. Only the kids didnt like it too much , however they finished it after giving me their daily dose of grumbling and complaining. Thankless ...

Weekend coming up, dreading it eatingwise, at home the whole day, me and my pantry and kitchen and food, lets see what we come up with.

Mindfulness

2008-11-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

Walked today 3 miles in 47 min. Its so cold today and dark at 5 pm. Just want to burrow under my comforter and sleep.

Came home, and ate my slice of toast with an egg which was lunch followed by a cup of tea. Barely an hour later , in walks in my DH, filling the cold house with the smell of delicious hot pizza. U would think that atleast this early in my challenge, and esp now since I am logging everyday, I would have more will- power to say 'no' and save some to have later. Nope, I ate my one slice and after 15 min another. It was the yummiest pizza I have ever had.

The logic was/is: I wasnt hungry, but this was hot fresh pizza. If I had saved it for later , it would become cold and stale. OTOH, I might not have eaten it then and in the process saved some calories. But this was eaten not mindlessly, I knew exactly what I was doing, hence only 2 slices, otherwise I can manage 4 at a time and it satisfied me to the extent that I dont need dinner or any more candy.

I finished the book today adn it has some nice sensible strategies for mindful eating which become mindless habits with time so one loses weight slowly and painlessly. I came to know that I am a meal stuffer- a person who eats fast, starts first and finishes the meal last and stuffs themselves at meal-times and also a snack grazer- who eats many snacks during the day out of boredom or nervousness. I have done that countless times- standing in the pantry, eating sweet alternating with salty and thinking about various aspects of my life.

Continue logging daily calories at fitday.com, I log in once in the morning everything I think I will be eating that day and then modify it at night depending on what I had. Lets see what shows up on the scale on Nov 10.

Running and math

2008-11-04T17:12:00.000-08:00

Did R3/W1 4miles in 55 min, aim is to be able to do R5/W1 for the half marathon in May.
Had a downward inline of 200 ft which I faced while coming back home. And the aim is also to be able to run up this hill without taking breaks. Passed the high school cross-country team effortlessly climbing up this hill, envy them so much... but u no wot? I never ran like that, ever. Its always been hard labor for me, maybe thats why I gave up each time. But this time, hopefully will keep at it.

Now lets do the math. For a person like me, the daily calorie requirement for a sedantary person is approx 1700 cal- got this from the www.fitday.com - its a good site to follow. I call myself sedantary because the majority of my day is spent sitting- on the office chair or the couch.

Anyway, and 3500 calories make a pound. To lose a pound in 10 days, I have to use 350 calories everyday. I can do that by eating 1700 minus 350 cal or do 350 calorie worth of exercise.

Eating less is not viable, I never realised that the serving size of rice is half a cup and not one, and that even one cup of cooked rice is much less than the heap I eat each time. Oh, 'ate' because from today everything that goes in this body will be measured - atleast for this month, just to learn the correct portion sizes. Tho I think the old body is going to rebel at the sight of those meager servings and therefore I will go with one cup instead of half-For Now only.

So the next option isto move more. 5 days a week I should be able to get rid of 350 cal by r/w for atleast 45 min, will have to think for the other 2 days, which are supposed to be my rest days.

The run was good today. Tho I am missing GB.

Mindless Eating : Brian Wansink

2008-11-03T17:55:00.000-08:00

Have read half of this book and the first reaction is'Duh!! I knew that!!' To which anyone can say 'then why didnt you follow it?'

Nicely written book, very simple to understand, we have read most of the facts in the form of snippets in various magzines, things like eating in a larger dish makes you eat more, eating with friends, using flat glasses for drinks, portion sizes, eating while watching t.v. or a movie, our own perception of how much and what we eat, I would say its definately worth a read. So far, not a whisper of counting calories. I liked the part I am reading now which talks about our habits with regards to food. I will make a note of each behaviour and analyze it with regards to my own habits.

My habit is to enter the house thru the kitchen and start stuffing myself. Its worse during the winter mnths because the house is so cold and I just want to feel warm - there is a study somewhere that states that cold makes us eat more. So today , instead of going to the pantry I put on the water for tea and heated up some leftovers. The changed into my warmest, fleeciest clothes, had lunch, did keep in mind the portion sizes, and felt better.

I am keeping a calorie log on fitday.com- I had used that site some years ago and as usual given up after a few attempts. Today so far my calorie count is 1450, that is after I have had the 2 reeses PB cups I wanted to- not eaten mindlessly- I tasted each bite and the 2nd one wasnt as satisfying as the first. Now a cup of tea, some t.v, maybe some weights , some more reading and then lalaland.

Running rewards

2008-11-02T19:42:00.000-08:00

Went for my r/w session. 3 miles in 44 min. Its a gradual incline of about 80 ft over 1.5miles which I walked up because was having some shin pain, then turned and ran down the incline.

The reason for this post- to commit to memory the scene I saw when I turned around. It was the time just before dusk, the whole sky was pink-rose pink- bright pink, not baby pink but a resounding, singing pink. There are some days when just before sunset the last rays fan out from the horizon, today those rays were pink and golden and the sky above them a dark blue. Oh,to be a poet and have the words to describe that sky. The only thing I said on the run back home, and I did run all the way back, was Thankyou!!Just to be able to appreciate that scene. Hope I dont forget this ever.

Dieting, or not. Psycho analysis.

2008-11-02T09:50:00.000-08:00

So I am going to lose the 36 pounds, in 365 days, but without dieting or resorting to pills, surgery, etc etc.

No diets. Could never follow them beyond the 2nd day. And as am growing older, give up by lunch time because the constant counting, holding back or any comment by my near and dear ones puts me off.

I have always been on the chubby side, and all the weight was on the tummy. When I look at my childhood pictures, I see a normal sized person except with a bigger than normal tummy. Tried to do crunches and abwork starting 8-9th grade and never lost that collection, maybe it was loose ab muscles or something. Gained some during college years, lost when got into a graduate program, kept it off for 5 years by being paranoid about my exercise and trying to miss dinner. I say 'try' because I would eat dinner like amounts at tea-time. But do not recall a single day when I felt as if I was starving. There was a phase when I tried fasting a day of the week, even on those days I managed to eat something or the other during the day. Was at my leanest meanest best at the time of marriage-105 pds. Still felt fat. Told myself on Feb 2nd-wedding day- enjoy this weight because u never might be this slim again..., and I never have been. Two kids and 17 years later, 60 pounds more.

Tried all the diet plans in these last few years. These plans work, make no mistake, that can be seen if one goes on the forums, but not for me.

South Beach diet : Tried it twice, gave up in 2-3 days. Just cannot follow a rigid program even tho this is the least restrictive diet. I am a vegetarian who eats eggs and dairy, but most of the recipes call for some form of chicken, and actually being a vegetarian does not neccessarily mean one eats more veggies. It can also mean that I just abstain for the chicken and turkey and replace it with floury products-lots of bread and other processed foods.

Weightwatchers: Yes, Tamara, I did try this, lasted 3 months, and that too mainly because I frequented the WW forums. Those are helpful. And I did lose about 7 pounds in that much time, but it seemed too slow then and I finally lost paience with counting the points and trying to figure out the points in various foods. Also in my case the portion sizes are so huge that counting the points becomes tricky. I still try to follow their 8HGs which are actually quite sensible.

No to certain foods: Went thru a phase where tried to giveup all white foods- white flour, white sugar, white milk. Lasted maybe one day, had a severe headache by the end of it because if I gave up all these foods which are a staple of my regular diet, what would I eat?? How many eggs can a person eat in one day?? And honestly I dont like fruits too much.

So , what I need to do is to overhaul my whole way of eating. Starting from the portion sizes to the mindless eating to the stress eating to the love of sweets, cleaning everything off my plate, eating loads as soon as I enter the house, eating instead of taking a moment to identify my hunger/thirst/energy level/boredom. No giving up any foods, try to eat right, to be proactive about losing weight instead of hoping it will come off at the end of each 10 day session.

Have started reading a book 'Mindless Eating'- more about it soon

Month1 , Days 1 to 10

2008-11-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Beginning of a new goal: to lose 36 in 365 days. Will I be able to do it?

The math is easy, lose a pound every 10 days, but the body doesnt work like that. Cravings, plateaus, loss of steam, days when I just give it all up, days when I cannot or will not exercise, memories of failing before, memories of gaining instead of losing.

But hey, whats a challenge if its not difficult? Marathon?, anyone can do it! Losing weight, now, thats difficult. Keeping it off , unthinkable at this time.

So, the plan.
Every 10 days I will examine one food related behaviour , try to work thru it, why I do it, when and how does it occur, how can I overcome it. Also I will try to build a new habit to replace the old. Thru it all continue with the running because am planning to run a half-M in May 2008.

What an amazing day to start this plan, one day after halloween!! But this morning my kids actually got rid of most of it. A local dentist had the wonderful idea of paying $2 for all unopened candy which they would send to the troops in Iraq. The kids ,and also their moms, would eat less candy, get less dental disease and the soldiers would appreciate it. Hey, I appreciate it.

My daughters gave me 6 reeses peanut butter cups and a milky way-large bar - I have to make this last atleast thru November. One part of me wants to finish it all today and the other saner part tells me to savor it one day at a time. Since its the first day of my challenge, I listen to sane Ms NB. Theres still 4 hours before bedtime tho'.

Last day of 2008 goal

2008-10-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

And we had already acheived it. Love, just love remembering that day. Conversation is peppered with'but I am a marathon finisher!!!!'

Today did a r/w with DH of 5 miles. The old body is still not back to functioning. Actually felt a bit faint after a hill which had done numerous times before. In my minds eye I am running smoothly, rhythmically, covering miles and miles with little effort. The reality is the harsh gasps of breath I take in after each minute of effort.

But all in good time. Now onward and forward to goal for 2009- to lose 36 by oct 31 2009. Will have to keep repeating this to myself everyday, every hour because this is one goal attempted hundreds of times and then left unfinished. Will keep writing about it till get sick of the complaints and actually do something about it.

Easy day

2008-10-29T20:34:00.000-07:00

Went to the park for an hour, walked for 15 min and the rest 40 just played with my 7yo around the playstructure. It had a 6 foot rock climbing wall, which I did a couple of times, even tho the footholds were made for size 2 shoes and not size 8 worn by a 160 pounder person. Rock climbing would be a good thing to pursue, I used my upper body and abs, am sure tomorrow will hurt in the arms, havent used these muscles in a long time.

There is a rockclimbing wall 5 miles from our house and when GB returns, maybe we can do some sessions there- will have to keep this in mind.

All day long keep thinking about my goal of -36 in 365. Have got a book from the library on mindless eating, want to walk and run, but no time in the morning as its so dark and as it is I am supposed to take it easy for 26 days after a marathon- not that I am having any trouble with that.

November 1 2008 will start off -36 in 365. Will have GB put in the weight loss counter and then GO For It!!

Nov2008-Nov2009 Challenge and goals

2008-10-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Thought loong and hard. Finally came to a decision.

365 days to lose 36 pounds. Learn to eat right, train for the two half marathons for the exercise. Lifestyle changes.

Break it up into 3 pounds a month, a pound every 10 days.

The only problem with this is, that usually I forget that I am trying to 'lose weight' by the second evening, so that when the weigh-in day rolls around, I havent lost an oz. Then I tell myself, Lose 2 pounds in the next 10 days, which is still doable. Does not happen due to whatever reason and I am left with trying to lose 3 pounds in 10 days by which time I give up. Anyway, lets give it one more shot.

The basics:

I am 40 this year, have some hypothyroidism which I am in denial about, so not on meds, cholesterol etc OK except for the good HDL which is low, BMI of 29.3, calculated this morning on 'msn health guide' so this puts me at the edge of being obese. Love to eat, anything and everything tho' am a vegetarian. Downfall is sweets, packaged, easy to open processed foods. And the worst time of the day when I eat mindlessly is as soon as I step into the house after picking up the kids. They get healthy snacks of milk and cereal/peaches and plums, while I raid the pantry for cookies and chips.

Dont mind the exercise part, aim to exercise 5-6 days a week tho' putting in the requisite 90 min to lose weight might become difficult. Am very friendly with the couch esp after work, zone out in front of the T.V frequently. Love to read, therefore have all the basic knowledge to lose wieight and be healthy, but the 'doing' part is difficult for me.

Why do I want to lose weight? Would like to look good for once, tho realise that weight is only one part of looking good. Would like to be healthy for old age, want to be independant at whatever ripe old age I reach, and so far all the healthy 80 year olds I have seen are at the lower end of the BMI. This past year of doing somewhat regular exercise has shown me that the days I move are the days I feel good. No ankle pains or knee pains or feeling bloated. And I know that losing some of the flab will help with the running times.

Nowadays the first step to losing weight is to go into the psychological details as to WHY one gained it in the first place. Thats too intense for me right now, so I will start with baby steps.
And GB will be with me thru'out- this is a challenge for both of us. Tho' it'll be harder for her-shes on vacation, all the better for me to lose fast;)

DAys 1-10:

Focus on the afternoon snacking. I will have cereal/leftovers. No food which I have to open a packet for. So plan to cook extra at dinnertime.
Drink water first thing as I enter the house. Make tea, eat the food with the kids and then focus on the chores etc.
R/W according to schedule, i.e. T/Th/Sat: R/W, M/W/Sun: XT-weights/yoga, F: off

Walking

2008-10-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

Walked 3.5m/60min, same area as yesterday. Just very relaxed, tried to fit in some fast intervals , but mainly just looking around the houses, fall colors, horses and other runners and walkers.

I enjoyed today, no pressure.

Start off again

2008-10-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Had to take my 14yo for soccer at 7AM. Normally I would curse everyone around and sullenly take her for the game. Today , like the marathoner I am, I got ready with her and did a 42min/2.7m R/W session in the neighbourhood. Heard a rooster after a long time. And saw some beautiful horses. Nice start to a morning, nice start back into the running business.

Was talking to one of the moms who runs fast and long, and yes, I did just mention that I ran a marathon, how could I pass this oppurtunity to brag. She looked at me with her eyes wide 'you ran a marathon?!?!' So I backed up a bit and said I walked more than I ran and the pace was slow. I dont know how to put this but she seemed rather sad that she cant do that distance because she injured herself some time ago.

That is the one thing I dont understand, the marathon is a doable distance,( OK maybe those are my post marathon endorphins speaking,) but as long as you keep your speed slow. My DH says the same thing , that he wouldnt be able to manage the distance. I think one can do the 26.2 as long as one does it slowly and gradually and humbly . If you go in rushing at 12mph and then hurt yourself, whats the fun.

Yeah, I am ready for the second one, I have already forgotton the agony of the first!!

When I look back on that day, the parts I remember the most are walking alongside the oceon, the waves, the grandson walking with his granny, the husband urging his wife on to take some more steps, the TNT coach helping this first time marathoner, GB and her observations, her incredulity at actually doing this marathon.

Now that we are done, its been a week, I didnt want to sit back and let this feeling of having a goal each year move on, so went over a couple of ideas.
No, not mountain climbing, tho I did go over a couple of sites, its too expensive and time consuming.

Actually the family has barred me from even thinking of another marathon because of the time factor. So I have to limit myself to half-marathons or run faster. To that end, am planning to do a half in May and another in Nov. 2009- the Big Sur Half-marathon in Montrey. Please note it is NOT the Big Sur International marathon which is the most scenic and should be done once atleast in a lifetime but which has such elevation that I think I will cover the distance atleast once, in a car!

Had been thinking of a duathlon, but havent been on a bike since high school, dont have one at present. GB is on a sabbatical and therefore out of the state for atleast a couple of months so we cant decide with the bikes and training yet. I think I will do the basic research about bikes, the training required etc till the end of the year and then think about a bike tour or duathlon later.

Had actually toyed with the idea of a goal to lose 36 pounds in 365 days. But gave that one up, have wasted too many years with that one goal of losing weight, and fell flat on my face. Its a very bad feeling to know that at the end of 365 days I have nothing to show for my efforts- or actually too much to show!! Sometimes I feel I can do 10 marathons in a year and that would still be easier than losing weight. But as I am writing this, the thought comes that if it is so hard, thats a challenge, and so shouldnt I try it. Maybe one last try to get rid of this flab.

I dont know. So things are still a bit fluid. However, I have a rough plan about the running/walking. Nov/Dec 2008 I will try and get upto R5/W1, start training for the MAy half-M in jan 2009, with an aim of getting my time down to 3h instead of 3h21min. And then a repeat training for NOv 2009 half-M starting in june2009.

Some more thoughts

2008-10-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Tamara and Harvey for the wishes. We appreciate those.

Just a few more thoughts. I keep going over the M-day. And I keep bringing it up in every conversation I have with the family, to the extent that my DH says he would do a marathon just so I could stop bragging. But see, by then I would run another one, so I would still be ahead of him,ha!

Was thinking, even tho there were more hills than stated, they didnt slow us down at all. Our average pace thruout the marathon was around 15.30minmile, and the slowest was the last one 15.92minmile. We never went beyond 16 min at any time. And now looking back the hills didnt seem that diffcult. I think we really went down the hills hard because now the quads are hurting more than the hamstrings.

I just want to savor this feeling as long as I can, already some tiny thought will come in mind to stop me- hey that day is done, its gone, what next? And I bring it back to M-day, enjoy for atleast this week. By next week I should decide on my next year goal and start planning for it.

Do you have any ideas??

Goal Accomplished!!!

2008-10-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

Goal to complete in 365 days- marathon- run/walk/crawl/complete/finish a marathon, distance of 26.2miles- WE DID IT!!!!

NIke Women's Marathon 2008- 26.2 miles- 6hr51min- were not the fastest but neither the lastest.

Went to SF on Oct 18th2008, checked in in the hotel, GB had booked a lovely room, then walked down 5 blocks, (since the hotel is on California and Powell, up on 3 hills from Geary street), to Union square to attend the EXPO. This is our first marathon, our first experience, so everything was perfect for us. We picked up our bags, got the jamba juice smoothies, tested the oxygen shots which were basically scented oxygen delivered thru the nasal drips, didnt get the manicure because of the long lines, and why have the acetone smelling manicure station next to the oxygen station??

Had decided to go to the room only after 6pm so as not to spoil the rhythm. Went to WEstfield mall, caught the movie'Burn after reading' which I liked even tho had some pretty gross humor, just because was so relaxed. Ate some pasta and gelato, some hot chocolate and coffee and then took the tram up Powell street to our hotel.

By 7 pm was so sleepy, I think I was sleeping by 7.30 pm and GB said she too went off by 8pm. Had the best 8 hours of sleep in my life. For the first time a hotel bed was so comfy, or maybe it was my perception.

Woke up at 4.30 AM, and slowly started getting ready. GB was the one making the tea and keeping things in order while I just listened to the news on CNN. Basically she was doing what I do when DH and I travel with the kids!! Ate a banana, drank some tea, lots of water.

Walked out of the hotel at 620 AM, there were many others like us. Walked down to union square, very slowly so as not to hurt the knees at the last minute. There was a huge crowd, thats an understatement, 20,000 is HUGE!! We went to use a restroom in one of the nearby hotels. Everyone seemed nervous and excited, were stretching and taking pictures, yakking and yelling. Amazing! SO many women of all shapes and sizes. Lots of TNT participants.

The race started at 7 AM exactly and we were off, got our foot on the mat 7 min later. The first 11 miles, till the half-M seperated from the marathoners seemed like a party.Women in tutus of rainbow colors, or knee length socks or those funny headbands, with i=pods and without, fat and thin, short and tall, think of a category and it was there. Nothing seemed out of place. As the half-M could finish in the alloted 7 hours, there were these groups of ladies yakking and screaming and laughing all the way. As soon as we seperated from them the mood got all serious, and there was greater distance between the participants. So I kept trying to motivate myself and GB to go faster than the one before us.

Miles 1-3 were great, we were at 14minmile pace, and in a crowd it is difficult to monitor oneself, so maybe we went faster than intended. Walkers faster than us, runners slower than us, TNT supporters lining the streets, general supporters for heir families. Then came the hills. Later one of the participants was saying they had more hills this time. Anyway they seemed more and earlier than the 5 we had counted on the course map. We walked up all the hills. Later on we ran alongside the Pacific oceon- that was the highlight for me- to run alongside one of the 7 oceons of the world, the beaches all nice and sandy instead of rocky, surfer dudes in black in the white waves. For a moment I wanted to have a house along the beach, to be able to come for a walk along the beach everyday!

God was really kind to us in terms of the weather, thru'out no major winds, no sun at all, low 50's so that at the end I had to wear my jacket. Every thing was so perfect - GB said she will never do a marathon again simply because these conditions just cant been replicated. It was as if nothing could go wrong.Amazing.

Miles 4-7 again had some hills, passed thru a community with the cutest houses imaginable, houses with character, each house different from the rest, smaller than the Mcmansions in the suburbs. Small lawns, people standing outside waving us on. Got orange slices at this point, so refreshing.

Made a restroom stop at 9 mile, which was a mistake because had to stand in line for 8-10 min, and didnt really have to go. Could have gone at mile 12 after the half marathoners had left us and there were no lines, but who knew? That was another good thing, that was the only potty break we had to take.

Miles 13 thru 14 was nice and easy, GB had been complaining of a new ankle pain, she had already taken a motrin at mile 8 and now we saw a first aid station where we asked the person to give us a bandage to wrap the ankle. He instead wanted GB to sit and have her ankle examined. No way man!! we were already lagging by 7 min and GB felt that she didnt need medical help for her ankle just yet.

Miles 15-19 was a long stretch along side the Pacific going towards Lake Merced. We had to finish 18.75 miles before 5 hours, that was the cutoff, mentioned maybe once in the information about the marathon, but in small print , which everyone misses. So now the volunteers urged us to hurry and cross the 18.75 mark soon, which we did with 15 min to spare, thankfully.

The route around Lake Merced was much maligned in the marathon reviews at marathonguide.com but we didnt find it as bad. However GB was losing steam here, and I kept telling everyone around about'mind over matter' and how 'the body covers the first 20 miles but the mind covers the last 6.2.' GB kept urging me to go on faster if my speed allowed it but I was actually quite spent too. I changed over from R2/W2 to 40steps running and 80 walking. I had to concentrate on the counting instead of the pains and aches so that helped.

Met a lady from Michigan and we talked about AnnArbor and Troy for 2 min, then got the Giaredelli chocolates at mile 23, GB was a bit behind and I was worried thet we would not be able to make up the lost 7 min. So I asked one of the TNT volunteers if I would get the finishers necklace even if we passes the 6.5hr mark. She said"Sure, you paid for it, by God, they better give it to you!!" That was a big relief so I sat on the sidewalk and stretched my aching thigh and hip muscles. GB caught on, I told her the good news, that we could finish in 7 hours, which turned out to be not such a good idea afterall, because then we both slowed down.

Miles 24 to 26.2 again were along the water and it was lovely. I think I slowed down considerably just to admire the view. Of all the pictures I want to have in my minds camera this has to be in the top few.

Now almost every one was walking at maybe 3.5mph, some were shuffling and the shufflers slowly finished 2 min earlier. We ran the last 0.2miles- had to do that!
Got our blue Tiffany box from the firefighters, who looked sullen and uncomfortable-sorry guys, we didnt finish sooner adn u had to wait 7 hours for us- long day!

Got our T-shirt, it was cold and I was wearing my jkt, GB wore her T-shirt on her running one, they had run out of the mylar blankets, didnt get a massage as that area was full, ate half a bagel and some dry granola-no milk, the coaches wouldnt take us to union square so we got a regular bus. Overheard a conversation between two young girls, a first time half-M and the other who came since 2005 just for the Tiffany necklace. The experienced one said that the course had been changed and had more hills this time.

Reached our hotel , changed and took the train back home. Aching body, headaches, hungry and thirsty by turns, finished 3 bottles of water. Came home, family glad to see me back, went of to sleep after telling the 7yo a story-apparently mama tells the best stories.

Recounted the marathon experience to my husband-gratifying to note that he considers the distance to be too much, and was wondering why we stopped to take pictures. Hey, how could we not take pictures of this ?? Jst hope they come out good now.

Legs hurting the most today-the quads, and very thirsty, and very happy. Grateful to God for letting this be a wonderful experience, thanks to GB to help me acheive one of my lifes dreams, which became a goal later on, thanks to my parents for providing regular encouragement and nourishment, thanks to my husband for letting me take the weekend off.
There, that was my Oscar/Grammy speech.

So, the two sisters completed a marathon.
What next??
Maybe a mountain, tho I am scared of heights, well , that is why it would be something worth trying.
I can hear GB screaming blue murder when she reads this!!!